Part of it was his job. Intimacy involved honesty, and his job precluded allowing any woman to really know him.
There had been a torrid affair with Donatella Rahn, an Israeli spy, that had lasted on and off for several years. In certain ways Donatella knew him better than anyone. It was a volatile relationship prone to great highs and depressing lows, and in a certain sense they were too much alike to ever marry, although she sure would have liked to have tried.
There had been plenty of other relationships, but never one so serious as to make him want to change. Anna had altered all that. Before her, if someone asked too many questions, or demanded too much of him, he found the nearest exit and never looked back. Relationships had always been easy, because they were always on his terms, and as soon as those terms were challenged or questioned it was over.
Now, everything was different. There was no walking away, no my place and your place, it was now their place. He had married Anna because he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. She made him want to be a better man, and deep down inside he knew it was for all the right reasons.
But right now, driving down this dark, rural Maryland road he dreaded seeing her reaction. In a way he hoped she would lash out at him and get it over with. The alternative was too painful to think of.
Anna was a fiercely stubborn woman. The worst thing she could do to him was withdraw her love and affection.
Rapp turned into their driveway and swallowed hard. He'd called her earlier in the day when they'd landed in California to refuel, and told her he'd be in around midnight. It was now closer to one o'clock and he hoped she would be asleep. The front porch light was on but that was about it.
Rapp parked on the new pad next to the single-car garage so Anna could get her car out in the morning if she left first. Carefully, Rapp rolled out of the car seat and stood still for a moment. Every time he placed weight on his right foot it felt like someone was sticking a knife into the wound. The doctor onboard the Belleau Wood gave him a pair of crutches that he'd left at the airport. This whole shot in the ass thing was going to be handled on a need-to-know basis, and Anna was the only one who needed to know. As far as everyone else was concerned he'd pulled his hamstring.
After grabbing his bag from the trunk he limped over to the front door like an invalid. When he inserted his key, the dog began barking.
Rapp opened the door and quietly greeted his mutt.
"Hi, Shirley." Rapp patted her head and then keyed in the code to turn off the alarm.
Somewhere in the house he thought he heard music playing. Anna had left the small light over the kitchen stove on, but other than that the first floor was dark. In the faint light cast from the porch Rapp saw a piece of paper sitting on the stairs. He picked up the linen card and opened it. It was addressed, My Dear Husband, I've missed you terribly.
Hurry upstairs!
Looking at the note, Rapp let out a long sigh and then started gingerly up the stairs, his left foot taking each upward step carefully followed by his right. By the time he reached the top step he could tell the music was coming from the bedroom. He approached the open doorway with trepidation, torn between a deep yearning to hold her in his arms and the fear of how she would react when she discovered his wound.
The room was lit with candles and there she was, lying in the middle of the bed in a black silk nightgown propped up against an array of plush pillows with one leg languidly crossed over the other. She gave him a devilish smile and held out her hand.
Rapp's brain was racing in opposite directions. Part of him wanted to tear off his clothes and jump into bed with her, and another part of him was saying that he needed to explain a few things before he got naked. For the short term, the path of least resistance and most enjoyment won out. Rapp moved across the room smiling at his gorgeous wife.
Stopping at the side of the bed he reached out and held her hand, and for a moment all of his worries melted when he looked into her sparkling emerald eyes. She tugged, pulling him closer. Rapp bent at the waist only a few inches and was instantly shocked back to reality.
The fresh wound stopped him in his tracks, sending signals screaming to his brain not to bend farther.
Rapp recovered by pulling Anna toward him. She got up on her knees and wrapped her arms around his waist.
"I missed you, honey."
"I see that," replied Rapp as he cupped her face in his hands and kissed her on the lips.
"Did you miss me?"
"You know I did." Rapp smiled.
"More than you can imagine."
"Oh, I think I can imagine." She wrapped her arms around his back and squeezed tight.
Rapp held her head against his chest and laughed like a little boy.
"Did you have a good week?"
"No." Anna reached up and slid his jacket over his shoulders, letting it fall to the floor.
"How could I have had a good week without you?" Next she grabbed the leather holster of his Beretta and slid it over his shoulders. The daughter of a Chicago police officer, she knew enough not to let the weapon drop to the floor. Carefully, she lowered it and set it on the jacket.
Rapp admired her slim figure under the thin black silk and let his hands begin to explore. Anna tugged at his shirt and began unbuttoning it while she tilted her head back and offered her lips to her husband.
Rapp kissed her, knowing he should stop her from undressing him and explain what had happened, but he couldn't. He didn't want it to stop.
Anna tore off his shirt and broke away from the kiss. Pushing herself back she ran her hands over his bare chest and down around his sides. She took in his lean strong body and let out a lustful moan. Before Rapp could react, her hands slid from his sides down and around to his butt. Anna looked into his eyes with a playful hunger and squeezed with a force that matched her passion.
There was a split second in Rapp's mind where time stood still.
Everything froze and his mouth and eyes opened in anticipation of what was about to happen. And then the pain emanating from Anna's grip shot through his body like a lightning bolt. His entire body went rigid and he reached for his wife's hands. Prying them loose, he stepped back and closed his mouth and eyes as a wave of nausea washed over him.
"What's wrong?" asked a startled and concerned Anna.
Rapp held on to her hands and waited for the pain to subside. In a weak attempt to lighten the situation, his painful expression lessened into a grimace but not quite a smile.
"Um…" His brain searched for the right words but they weren't coming.
"What's wrong? What did I do?" Anna stepped off the bed, holding her hands out gently.
"You didn't do anything," Rapp managed to say.
"It's just something that happened to me."
"You're hurt?" Anna looked confused.
"Why didn't you say something to me… what's wrong?"
The questions kept coming, as she moved closer and he backed away, in a weak attempt to buy some time.
"Honey, it's not a big deal… I just suffered a little injury while I was in the Philippines."
"What kind of injury… let me see it."
Rapp held on to her hands.
"No… you don't need to see it. It's no big deal."
Anna detected the look of guilt on his face and seized upon it.
"What do you mean I don't need to see it? I'm your wife."
"Honey," Rapp said in a lame attempt to calm her, "it's really no big deal."
Anna released him and took a step back, placing her hands on her hips. with a menacing look she stared him right in his face and said, "You are trying to hide something from me, Mitchell Rapp, and you'd better come clean right now, or we are going to have serious trouble."