“Stowaways!” the officer said when he unlocked the door, staggered, hand over heart. For the benefit of the crewgirl who accompanied him. ‘Terrible, unheard ofl On your feet, you two, and come with me. Captain Garth will want to know about this.” It was a very convincing performance, spoiled only by his ready hand for the money as soon as the crewgirl’s back was turned. She seemed bored by the whole thing and was probably in on the deal herself. We tramped the corridor and up three flights of metal stairs to the bridge. The captain, at least, was shocked to see us. Probably the only one on the ship who didn’t know we were aboard. “Damn and blast-where did these come from?” “In one of the empty cabins on C deck. “ “You were supposed to check those cabins.” “I did, my captain, it is in the log. One hour before takeoff. After that I was on the bridge with you. They must have come aboard after that.” “Who did you bribe?” Captain Garth said, turning to us, a grizzled old spacedog with a mean look in his eye.
“No one, captain,” The Bishop said, sincerity ringing in his voice. “I know these old Reptile class freighters very well. Just before takeoff the guard at the gangway entered the ship. We came in behind him, unseen, and hid in the cabin. That is all there is to it.” “I don’t believe a word of it. Tell me who you bribed or you’ll be in the brig and in big trouble.” “My dear captain, your honest crewmen would never take bribes!” He ignored the unbelieving snort. “I have proof. All of my not inconsiderable fortune is intact and in my pocket. “ “Out,” the captain instantly ordered all the men in the control room. “All of you. I’ll take this watch. I want to question these two more thoroughly. “ The officer and the crewmembers shuffled out, their faces expressionless under his gaze. When they were gone the captain sealed the door and spun about. “Let’s have it,” he ordered. The Bishop passed over a very tidy sum and the captain riffled through it, then shook his head. “Not enough. “ “Of course,” The Bishop agreed. “That is the opening payment. The balance after landfall on some agreeable planet with lax custom officers. “ “You ask a lot. I have no desire to risk trouble with planetary authorities by smuggling in illegal immigrants. It will be far easier to relieve you of the money right now and dispose of you as I will. “ The Bishop was not impressed at all by this ploy. He tapped his pocket and shook his head. “Not possible. Final payment is with this registered check for two-hundred thousand credits drawn on Galactic Credit and Exchange.,lt is not legal tender until I countersign it with a second signature. You may torture me, but I will never sign! Until we are standing on firm ground.” The captain shrugged meaningfully and turned to the controls, making a minor adjustment before he turned back. “There is a matter of paying for your meals,” he said calmly. “Charity does not pay my fuel bills. “ “Absolutely. Let us fix a rate. “ That appeared to be all there was to it-but The Bishop whispered a warning as we went back down the corridor. “The cabin is undoubtedly bugged. Our luggage searched. I have all our funds on me. Stay close so there are no accidents. That officer, for one, would make an excellent professional pickpocket. Now-what do you say to a little food? Since we have paid we can end our enforced fast with a splendid feast. “ My stomach rumbled loud agreement with this suggestron, and we made for the galley. Since there were no passengers the fat, unshaven cook served only Venian peasant food. Fine for the natives, but it took some getting used to. Did you ever try to hold your nose and eat at the same time? I didn’t ask the cook what we were eating-1 was afraid he would tell me. The Bishop sighed deeply and began to fork down his ration of gunge, “The one thing I forgot about Venia,” he said gloomily, “was the food. Selective memory I am sure. Who would want to recall at any time a feast like this?” I did not answer since I was gulping at my cup of warm water to get the taste out of ifty mouth.
“Small blessings,” I said. “At least the water here isn’t as nasty as the stuff from the tap in our cabin.” The Bishop sighed again.
“That is coffee that you are drinking.” A fun cruise it was not. We both lost weight since it was often better to avoid a meal than to eat it. I continued my studies, learning the finer points of embezzling, expenseaccount grafting; double and treble entry bookkeepingall done in Esperanto until I was as facile as a native in that fine language.
At our first planetfall we stayed in the ship since sol"diers and customs officers were thick as sandfleas about the ship.
“Not here,” the captain said, looking at the screened image of the ground with us. “Very rich planet, but they don’t like strangers. The next planet in this system is one you will like, agricultural, low population, they can use immigrants, so there isn’t even a customs office.” “The name?” The Baron asked. “Amphisbionia.” “Never heard of it. “ “Should you have? Out of thirty-thousand settled planets.” “True. But still...” The Bishop seemed troubled and I couldn’t understand why. If we didn’t like this planet we could liberate enough funds to move on. But some instinct had him on edge. In the end he bribed the purser to use the ship’s computer.
When we were toying with our dinner he told me about it.
“Something doesn’t smell right about this-smells worse than this food. “ This was a horrilying thought. “I can find no record of a planet named Amphisbionia in the galactic guide. And the guide is updated automatically every time we land and hook into a planetary communication net. In addition to that, there is a lock on our next destination. Only the captain has the code to access it.” “What can we do?” “Nothing – until after we land. We’ll find out then what he is up to.” “Can’t you bribe one of the officers?” “I already did-that’s how I found out that only the captain knows where we are heading. Of course he didn’t tell me until after I paid. A dirty trick. I would have done the same thing myself.” I tried to cheer him up, but it was no use. I think the food had affected his morale. It would be a good thing to arrive at this planet, whatever it was. Certainly a good thief can make a living in any society. And one thing was certain. The food would have to be better than the sludge we were reluctantly eating now.
We stayed in our bunks until the ship touched down and the green light came on. Our meager belongings were already assembled and we carried them down to the airlock. The captain was operating the controls himself. He muttered as the automatic air analyzer ran through its test; the inner lock would not open until it was finished and satisfied with the results. It finally pinged and flashed its little message at him and he hit the override. The great hatch ground slowly open admitting a whiff of warm and pungent air. We sniffed it appreciatively.
“Here is a stylo,” Captain Garth said. The Bishop merely smiled.
The captain led the way and we followed with our bags. It was night, stars were bright above, invisible creatures called from the darkness of a row of trees nearby. The only light was from the airlock.
“Here will do,” the captain said, standing on the end of the ramp. The Bishop shook his head as he pointed at the metal surface.
“We are still on the ship. “The ground if you please.” They agreed on a neutral patch close to the ramp-but far enough from the ship to foil any attempt to rush us. The Bishop took out the check, accepted the stylo at last, then wrote his careful signature. The captain-ever suspicious!-compared it with the signature above and finally nodded. He walked briskly up the ramp as we picked up our bags-then turned and called out. “They’re all yours now!” h As the ramp lifted up, out of our reach, powerful lights came on from the darkness, pinning us like moths. Armed men ran towards us as we turned, trapped, lost.