There was a pause and I could tell that 1’d pleased him, because the smile changed the sound of his breathing. If I’d denied it, wrong number, no speakee Engleesh, he’d have known I was a player. If I came clean, he might take me for an idiot. All the evidence pointed that way, after all.

‘Good. Now. Mind telling me what you talked about?’

‘Well,’ I said, frowning in concentration, ‘he asked me about my army record. I was in the army, by the way.’

‘No shit. He knew that, or you tell him?’ Another big think from the idiot.

‘I’m not sure. Now that you mention it, I think he must have known it already.’

‘Girl knew it too?5

‘Well, I can’t be sure of that, can I? I didn’t pay much attention to her.’ Good thing I wasn’t wired to a machine for that one. The needle would have gone into the next room for a lie-down. ‘He asked about my plans, what sort of work I was up to. Which isn’t much, to be honest.’

‘You in intelligence?’

‘What?’

The way I said it was supposed to answer his question, but he kept going.

‘In the army. You fought terrorists inIreland. Were you involved with intelligence.’

‘Good God, no.’ I smiled, as if I was flattered by the idea. ‘What’s funny?’

I stopped smiling.

‘Nothing, it’s just… you know.’

‘No, I don’t. That’s got a lot to do with why I’m asking. Were you in military intelligence?’

I took a painful breath before answering.

‘Ulsterwas a system,’ I said. ‘That’s all. Everything that happened there had happened a hundred times already. System was everything. People like me just, you know, make up the numbers. I slogged around. Played some squash. Had a few laughs. Good fun, really.’ I thought I might have overdone it with that, but he didn’t seem to mind. ‘Look, my neck… I don’t know, there’s something wrong. I really need to see a doctor.’

‘He’s a bad guy, Tom.’

‘Who is?’ I said.

‘Woolf. Real bad. I don’t know what he’s told you about himself. I’m kind of guessing that he didn’t tell you about the thirty-six tons of cocaine he’s brought intoEurope in the last four months. He tell you that?’ I tried to shake my head. ‘Nah, I figured he’d forget to mention that. But that’s bad with a capital B, wouldn’t you say, Tom? I’d say it was. The Devil’s alive on earth, and he’s selling crack cocaine. Yeah. Sounds like a song. What rhymes with cocaine?’

‘Pain,’ I said.

‘Yeah,’ said Groomed. He enjoyed that. ‘Pain.’ The leather shoes went for a stroll. ‘Ever noticed how bad guys mix with bad guys, Tom? I’ve noticed that. Happens all the time. I don’t know, they like to feel at home, shared interests, same star sign, whatever. See itathousand times. A thousand times.’ The shoes stopped. ‘So when a guy like you starts holding hands with a guy like Woolf, I got to say that makes me not like you very much.’

‘Look, that’s it,’ I said, petulantly. ‘I’m not going to say one more word to you until I’ve seen a doctor. I haven’t the faintest idea what you’re talking about. I know as much about Woolf as I know about you, which is nothing, and I think there’s every chance that my neck is broken.’ No answer. ‘I demand to see a doctor,’ I repeated, trying to sound as much like a British tourist in a French customs shed as I could.

‘No, Tom. I don’t think we want to waste a doctor’s time.’ His voice was even, but I could tell that he was excited. The leather crunched, and the door opened. ‘Stay with him. Every minute. You have to use the bathroom, you call me.’

‘Wait a minute,’ I said. ‘What do you mean waste time? I’m injured. I’m in pain, for Christ’s sake.’

The shoes turned towards me.

‘That may be, Tom. That may very well be. But who the hell washes up paper plates?’

There weren’t many good things to be said or felt about my situation. Not many at all. But the rule is that after any engagement, won or lost, you replay it in your mind to see how much you can learn. So that’s what I did, while Richie slumped against the wall by the door.

First, Groomed knew a lot and he’d known it quickly. So he had manpower, or good communications, or both. Second, he didn’t say ‘you call Igor or one of the other boys’. He said ‘you call me’. Which probably meant there was only Groomed and Richie in the space shuttle.

Third, and at that moment the most important, I was the only one who knew for certain that my neck wasn’t broken.

Eight

For a soldier I listed, to grow great in fame,

And be shot at for sixpence a day.

CHARLES DIBDIN

Some time passed. It might have been a lot of time, and probably was, but after the bike crash I’d started being a bit suspicious about time and how it behaved. Patted my pockets after every meeting, that kind of thing.

There was no way of measuring anything in this room. The light was artificial, on constantly. And the noise-level didn’t do anything at all. Hearing some milk-bottles rattling in a crate, or somebody yelling‘Evening Standard,five o’clockedition only just arrived’ would have helped a bit. But you can’t have everything.

The only chronometering device I had about my person was my bladder, which told me that roughly four hours had elapsed since the restaurant. Which didn’t tally with the aftershave reckoning from Groomed. But then again, these cheap modern bladders can be hellishly unreliable.

Richie had left the room only once, to fetch a chair. While he was gone I tried to break free, knot the sheet together, and abseil to the ground, but only made it as far as scratching my thigh before he came back. Once he’d got himself comfortable he didn’t make another sound, which made me think that he’d probably brought something to read as well. But there was no noise of any pages turning, so he was either a very slow reader or just happy to sit and stare at the wall. Or me.

‘I need to go to the lavatory,’ I croaked. No answer.

‘I said I need…’

‘Shut the fuck up.’

This was good. This made me feel much better about what I was going to have to do to Richie.

‘Look, you have to…’

‘You hear what I said? Shut the fuck up. You gotta piss, piss where you are.’

‘Richie…’

‘Who the fuck told you to call me Richie?’

‘What should I call you?’ I closed my eyes.