The backyards of these houses fell away in green slopes down to a strip of sand, and then the blue Lake Erie, lapping all the way to Canada. The orange-patched sky of the steel-mill section never reached this part of town. This sky was always blue. We reached Lake Shore Park, a city park laid out with rosebuds, fountains, bowling greens, picnic tables. It was empty now, but sweetly expectant of clean, white, well-behaved children and parents who would play there above the lake in summer before half-running, half-stumbling down the slope to the welcoming water. Black people were not allowed in the park, and so it filled our dreams.
Right before the entrance to the park was the large white house with the wheelbarrow full of flowers. Short crocus blades sheathed the purple-and-white hearts that so wished to be first they endured the chill and rain of early spring. The walkway was flagged in calculated disorder, hiding the cunning symmetry. Only fear of discovery and the knowledge that we did not belong kept us from loitering. We circled the proud house and went to the back. There on the tiny railed stoop sat Pecola in a light red sweater and blue cotton dress. A little wagon was parked near her. She seemed glad to see us. "Hi."
"Hi."
"What you all doing here?" She was smiling, and since it was a rare thing to see on her, I was surprised at the pleasure it gave me. "We're looking for you."
"Who told you I was here?"
"The Maginot Line."
"Who is that?"
"That big fat lady. She lives over you."
"Oh, you mean Miss Marie. Her name is Miss Marie."
"Well, everybody calls her Miss Maginot Line. Ain't you scared?"
"Scared of what?"
"The Maginot Line." Pecola looked genuinely puzzled. "What for?"
"Your mama let you go in her house? And eat out of her plates?"
"She don't know I go. Miss Marie is nice. They all nice."
"Oh, yeah,"
I said, "she tried to kill us."
"Who? Miss Marie? She don't bother nobody."
"Then how come your mama don't let you go in her house if she so nice?"
"I don't know. She say she's bad, but they ain't bad. They give me stuff all the time."
"What stuff?"
"Oh, lots of stuff, pretty dresses, and shoes. I got more shoes than I ever wear. And jewelry and candy and money. They take me to the movies, and once we went to the carnival. China gone take me to Cleveland to see the square, and Poland gone take me to Chicago to see the Loop.
We going everywhere together."
"You lying. You don't have no pretty dresses."
"I do, too."
"Oh, come on, Pecola, what you telling us all that junk for?" Frieda asked. "It ain't junk."
Pecola stood up ready to defend her words, when the door opened.
Mrs. Breedlove stuck her head out the door and said, "What's going on out here? Pecola, who are these children?"
"That's Frieda and Claudia, Mrs. Breedlove."
"Whose girls are you?" She came all the way out on the stoop. She looked nicer than I had ever seen her, in her white uniform and her hair in a small pompadour. "Mrs. MacTeer's girls, ma'am."
"Oh, yes. Live over on Twenty-first Street?"
"Yes, ma'am."
"What are you doing 'way over here?"
"Just walking. We came to see Pecola."
"Well, you better get on back. You can walk with Pecola. Come on in while I get the wash." We stepped into the kitchen, a large spacious room. Mrs.
Breedlove's skin glowed like taffeta in the reflection of white porcelain, white woodwork, polished cabinets, and brilliant copperware. Odors of meat, vegetables, and something freshly baked mixed with a scent of Pels Naphtha. "I'm gone get the wash.
You all stand stock still right there and don't mess up nothing." She disappeared behind a white swinging door, and we could hear the uneven flap of her footsteps as she descended into the basement. Another door opened, and in walked a little girl, smaller and younger than all of us. She wore a pink sunback dress and pink fluffy bedroom slippers with two bunny ears pointed up from the tips. Her hair was corn yellow and bound in a thick ribbon. When she saw us, fear danced across her face for a second. She looked anxiously around the kitchen. "Where's Polly?" she asked. The familiar violence rose in me. Her calling Mrs. Breedlove Polly, when even Pecola called her mother Mrs.
Breedlove seemed reason enough to scratch her. "She's downstairs," I said. "Polly!" she called. "Look," Frieda whispered, "look at that." On the counter near the stove in a silvery pan was a deep-dish berry cobbler. The purple juice bursting here and there through crust. We moved closer. "It's still hot," Frieda said. Pecola stretched her hand to touch the pan, lightly, to see if it was hot. "Polly, come here," the little girl called again. It may have been nervousness, awkwardness, but the pan tilted under Pecola's fingers and fell to the floor, splattering blackish blueberries everywhere. Most of the juice splashed on Pecola's legs, and the burn must have been painful, for she cried out and began hopping about just as Mrs. Breedlove entered with a tightly packed laundry bag. In one gallop she was on Pecola, and with the back of her hand knocked her to the floor. Pecola slid in the pie juice, one leg folding under her. Mrs. Breedlove yanked her up by the arm, slapped her again, and in a voice thin with anger, abused Pecola directly and Frieda and me by implication. "Crazy fool… my floor, mess… look what you… work get on out now out crazy… my floor, my floor… my floor." Her words were hotter and darker than the smoking berries, and we backed away in dread. The little girl in pink started to cry. Mrs. Breedlove turned to her. "Hush' baby, hush.
Come here. Oh, Lord, look at your dress. Don't cry no more. Polly will change it." She went to the sink and turned tap water on a fresh towel. Over her shoulder she spit out words to us like rotten pieces of apple. "Pick up that wash and get on out of here, so I can get this mess cleaned up." Pecola picked up the laundry bag, heavy with wet clothes, and we stepped hurriedly out the door. As Pecola put the laundry bag in the wagon, we could hear Mrs. Breedlove hushing and soothing the tears of the little pink-and-yellow girl. "Who were they, Polly?"
"Don't worry none, baby."
"You gonna make another pie?"
"'Course I will."
"Who were they, Polly?"
"Hush. Don't worry none," she whispered, and the honey in her words complemented the sundown spilling on the lake.
SEEMOTHERMOTHERISVERYNICEMOTHERWILLYOUPRA YWITHJANEMOTHERLAUGHSLAUGHMOTHERLAUGHLA The easiest thing to do would be to build a case out of her foot.
That is what she herself did. But to find out the truth about how dreams die, one should never take the word of the dreamer. The end of her lovely beginning was probably the cavity in one of her front teeth. She preferred, however, to think always of her foot.
Although she was the ninth of eleven children and lived on a ridge of red Alabama clay seven miles from the nearest road, the complete indifference with which a rusty nail was met when it punched clear through her foot during her second year of life saved Pauline Williams from total anonymity. The wound left her with a crooked, archless foot that flopped when she walked-not a limp that would have eventually twisted her spine, but a way of lifting the bad foot as though she were extracting it from little whirlpools that threatened to pull it under. Slight as it was, this deformity explained for her many things that would have been otherwise incomprehensible: why she alone of all the children had no nickname; why there were no funny jokes and anecdotes about funny things she had done; why no one ever remarked on her food preferences-no saving of the wing or neck for her-no cooking of the peas in a separate pot without rice because she did not like rice; why nobody teased her; why she never felt at home anywhere, or that she belonged anyplace. Her general feeling of separateness and unworthiness she blamed on her foot. Restricted, as a child, to this cocoon of her family's spinning, she cultivated quiet and private pleasures. She liked, most of all, to arrange things. To line things up in rows-jars on shelves at canning, peach pits on the step, sticks, stones, leaves-and the members of her family let these arrangements be. When by some accident somebody scattered her rows, they always stopped to retrieve them for her, and she was never angry, for it gave her a chance to rearrange them again. Whatever portable plurality she found, she organized into neat lines, according to their size, shape, or gradations of color. Just as she would never align a pine needle with the leaf of a cottonwood tree, she would never put the jars of tomatoes next to the green beans. During all of her four years of going to school, she was enchanted by numbers and depressed by words. She missed-without knowing what she missed-paints and crayons.