Joe continued staring at the soup.  “Three new HIV conversions this morning.”

“Jesus!”

“Jesus had nothing to do with it.”

“I know, but...anybody we know?”

Finally, José looked up from the soup.  “You know I can’t tell you that.”

“Sure, sure, and I appreciate that, but we’ve got close quarters here.  Know what I’m saying?”

“Sure I do.  But you can’t catch AIDS sitting next to someone.  It doesn’t jump plate to plate.”

“No kidding.  But it does jump vein to needle and needle to vein, and not a few of our guests have been known to shoot up when mood and opportunity permit.”

José shook his head.  “Can’t tell you, Fitz.”

“I don’t want names.  Don’t tell me who, just tell me how many HIV positives in and out of here.”

Dan wasn’t looking to ostracize anyone, but it certainly would be useful to know who was positive.  A lot of St. Joe’s guests regularly fell or got into fights.  It was a common occurrence for one of them to stagger in hurt and bleeding—amazing how much blood could pour out of a minor scalp cut—and either he or Carrie would clean them up.  He wasn’t so worried about himself, but Carrie...

“I don’t have to look at any faces to tell you that you’ve got HIV positives here.  The homeless population is loaded with them.”

Dan knew that.  He just wished he knew who.

“So when do I put on the rubber gloves?”

“Whenever you see red.”  José took the other half of his bread slice and dipped it into his soup.  “By the way, how’s Sister Carrie?”

“You just missed her.”

“Oh.”

“She’s in the back.  Want me to get her?”

“No.  Don’t bother her.  Just wanted to say hello if she happened to wander through.”

Is that the only reason people come here? Dan thought.  To see Carrie?

First Hal asking about her, now José.  Like puppies, panting for a glimpse of her.  No lascivious ogling here—no curves in those asexual, baggy clothes she wore—just a simple desire to bask in her glow.  He knew their love for her was the unrequited, worship-from-afar kind, and he should have been used to it by now, but he wasn’t.

After all, Dan loved her too.

I knew a place for her, a small cave set far back on the ledge above the tav rock.  Together we prepared a bier for her and placed her upon it. 

And then we sealed her in, carrying rocks that one man could not lift alone, and choking the mouth of the cave with them.

It will take many men to reopen her Resting Place.  But they shall not touch these stones.  They shall have to deal with me first.

--from the Glass scroll

Rockefeller Museum translation

SEVEN

Paraiso

As Emilio wheeled the black Bentley limo through the iron gates on the rim of his estate, Arthur Crenshaw sat alone in the back seat and closed his eyes, praying for guidance in the coming confrontation with his son.

Charlie, Charlie, what are we going to do about you?

He’d been up all night praying over the problem.  And during the six-hours alone in the passenger compartment of his Gulfstream II, four-and-a-half miles above the country he prayed would elect him its president, he’d continued praying for an answer.

Thank the Lord for prayer.  He only wished he’d discovered it sooner in his life.  He’d never been much for it in his younger days.  In fact he remembered secret sneers at the breast-beaters, the bead-pushers, the doe-eyed heaven-gazers who couldn’t solve their problems on their own and had to beseech some Santa Claus in the sky to bail them out.  He’d always considered them fools and losers.

Until he ran up against a problem neither he nor anyone else could solve: Olivia’s cancer.

The tumor had started in her left ovary, growing insidiously, worming its way out into her pelvis.  By the time the first symptoms appeared—subtle even then—it was seeded throughout her abdominal cavity.

What a vicious, ruthless, perfidious disease, a spreading army of militant cells causing no pain, no visible lumps, no blockages, covertly infiltrating the abdomen until it had gained a foothold upon every organ within reach.

Even now Arthur suppressed a moan as he remembered the moment in the hospital room when they got the news.  Too late, the doctors said.  They’d give it their best shot but the prognosis was bleak.

Still fresh in his mind was the look on Olivia’s face—the panic and terror that raced across her features before she controlled them and donned the brave mask she wore to her grave.  For the timeless instant between the devastating realization that her lifespan was numbered in months, and the determination that she would not surrender to the tumor, her innermost fears had lain naked before him.

Olivia, God bless her, never gave up.  Together they tried everything.  When traditional therapies failed, she volunteered for experimental protocols.  When the cancer resisted those, Arthur took her around the world, to the sincere quacks and out-and-out charlatans who offered hope to the hopeless.  Arthur spent a fortune—perhaps two fortunes—but it was only money.  What was money?  He could always make more.  But there was only one Olivia.

And brave Olivia, she withstood the endless array of tests and scans and pills and needles and baths and rubs until she could stand no more.

Because none of it was working.

And then, for the first time in his adult life, Arthur Crenshaw began to pray.  Not for himself—he swore he’d never stoop to praying for himself—but for Olivia.  He resented the need to pray.  He knew now it was pride.  He’d always been the problem solver, always the one who managed to find the needed answer.  But he’d already done everything humanly possible; now the only place left to seek help was beyond the human.

He went to a church and spoke to a young minister who told him to put Olivia’s problem in God’s hands and pray to Him to save her.

Arthur did just that.  He prayed and he forced himself to let go, to step back and trust in the Lord.  To his dismay, despite his prayers, his agonized cries to Heaven, Olivia continued her downward course.

Only one person appeared to benefit from his prayers: Arthur Crenshaw.  It left him feeling buoyed, lighter than air, filled with an inner glow that could only be the Peace of the Lord.

He could imagine the facile rationalizations the unbelievers in his circle would offer to explain his sudden inner tranquillity: Giving over responsibility for Olivia to God had relieved him of an awesome psychological burden.  What he interpreted as Divine Grace was merely his psyche rebounding after being released from the crushing weight of accountability for Olivia’s cure.

Nonsense.

God had willed him to be tranquil so that he could fully concentrate on being with Olivia.  Which was exactly what he did.

And when Olivia died in his arms in their bedroom in Paraiso, they were both at peace.

But Arthur hadn’t stopped praying then.  Prayer had become a habit during Olivia’s illness and so he’d continued a ritual of starting and finishing each day by talking with the Lord.  And when he’d been troubled by problems with the company, when a solution eluded him, he’d pray.  And, praise the Lord, not long after he prayed the answer would come to him.

He was well aware of the non-believer’s rational explanation for that, as well: When you gave a problem over to God you stopped gnawing at it; you relaxed your stranglehold on its elements, allowing them to reassemble into new and different configurations.  The fresh perspectives afforded by those new configurations, the different light in which you saw the problem, allowed you to arrive at a solution.  Nothing divine about it.  The same thing happened with Transcendental Meditation.  With self-hypnosis.  With standard mental relaxation techniques.