“Can I help you, sir?” One of the sales assistants asked as I wandered into the high-end boutique I’d found on Google earlier that morning.

“Yeah, I want to buy a present for . . .” We hadn’t dealt with labels yet, I’d been too concerned with letting Ashleigh set the pace. “My girlfriend.” Girlfriend sounded good, and I had to consciously stop the corners of my mouth from curling too far up. I didn’t want the sales assistant to think I was hitting on her.

“Do you have anything in mind?” she asked.

I glanced around the shop. Ashleigh would look good in any of the things in here. “Any colors you like or don’t like?” I shrugged. Perhaps this was too much too soon. I didn’t want to push, or make Ashleigh feel that what we had was all about sex. Surely she got that now?

“Any budget you had in mind?”

“I want something nice. That she would choose for herself. I don’t want her to think that I’m buying it for me.” I wasn’t sure that would be much help to the assistant, but she just smiled and led me over to one of the racks.

“What color hair does she have? And skin?”

“Almost black hair and light skin. Quite pale. She says she burns in the sun.” It was the reason we used to spend our summers underneath trees as children.

“Red would look beautiful, a deep red, like this.” She held up a bra.

I nodded. It would be gorgeous against her skin. I tried not to imagine too vividly exactly what she would look like. That would only lead to trouble.

“So were you thinking bra and panties, or maybe a bustier or garters?”

Holy crap, this was getting complicated. “What would you buy if someone gave you a gift card?”

“I’d skip the garters, buy two pairs of panties and take the bra and bustier.”

“Sounds good.” I wanted Ashleigh to love her gift, but spoiling my girlfriend was a new experience. An adjustment. Ashleigh was changing me in so many ways.

It took what seemed like an hour and a half to gift wrap the lot, which seemed an overly convoluted process that included wrapping it in white paper, boxing it, tying bows, wrapping it again—this time in black paper—and then placing it in an enormous gift bag. There was a distinct possibility that Ashleigh would think I’d bought her a car rather than just underwear.

As I headed back to work, my phone buzzed in my jacket pocket. “I don’t have any pictures of you on my phone.” I’d realized as the assistant and I were trying to decide Ashleigh’s size that I wanted a photo of her.

“Er, hello. Were you just thinking that as I was calling?”

“It’s all I’ve been thinking about. I want to get you naked and take photos.” The thought had my dick stirring in my pants.

“You’re a pervert.”

“I just love your body.” And mind and soul. “You need to learn how to accept compliments.”

“It’s just weird. I’m used to you teasing me, giving me shit for no reason at all, and then me turning round and giving it to you straight back.”

I understood why she thought it was weird, but I didn’t feel the same way. For me, the transition she’d made in my head from friend to lover had been effortless. Convincing her she could trust me was more challenging, but my emotions were very clear. “You’ll get used to it, baby. Anyway, shouldn’t you be saving lives or something? You’re not normally able to call in the middle of the day. What’s going on?”

“Again, with the palliative care thing. My patients don’t get cured.”

“Oh, yes, I think I remember you saying that before.” I couldn’t tame the grin that had taken over my face. I could tell by her voice she was wearing one similar.

“Now, that’s better. This Ash and Luke I can do.”

“You can do Ashleigh and Luke 2.0 as well. You just need to have a little faith.”

“I do. I’m just nervous about tonight. We haven’t really discussed what we’re going to say or how we’re going to say it, and it’s just . . . I thought maybe we should have a plan.”

“My plan is that you’re not allowed to break up with me, no matter what reaction Haven has or doesn’t have.”

“That’s not a plan.”

“That’s the most important plan. Seriously, Ashleigh, I need to know you’re not going to dip straight back into a meltdown.” It would quite possibly kill me to lose her now. She felt a part of me.

There was a beat of silence on the other end of the phone, and my heart began to gallop.

“That’s not going to happen.” Her voice was muffled and small.

I needed her to be more convincing.

“I just don’t want to have to choose between pleasing Haven and pleasing you.”

“How about you think about what you want? I want you. I hope you want me.”

“I do, I just can’t . . .”

My heart rate wasn’t slowing down. “You can’t what, Ashleigh?”

“I can’t lose you.”

My knees nearly gave way with relief. I shut my eyes so I could concentrate on what she’d just said. “You’ll never lose me. Don’t worry about tonight. I’ll find a way of bringing it up—sooner rather than later so you don’t die of a stroke halfway through dinner. It’s all going to be fine. I promise.”

“Okay, you’re right. It’s going to be fine. Thank you.”

“Good.” There wasn’t a bigger prize than soothing away Ashleigh’s worries. It was as if that were my job now—to take care of her and to make everything better. We were linked. I felt better when Ashleigh felt better. Making her happy made me happy.

“Oh, shit. I forgot to tell you. I called because I got into business school.” She elongated the word school in her excitement.

“Are you serious? You’re fucking amazing. I had no doubt. We need to celebrate.” I was so proud of her, but there was an uneasiness at my edges that I recognized. School would mean change. Her focus would shift. But it could be a positive, right? We couldn’t stand still—I’d learned that the hard way. If I could shop for lingerie then all bets were off. If that didn’t prove we could adapt then nothing did. Getting through business school would be a breeze. Ashleigh happy was nothing but a good thing.

“We’ll celebrate tonight. You’ll stay over?”

Her asking made me feel better instantly.

Ashleigh

I arrived home to find a humungous bag from a very expensive lingerie boutique on the mat outside my flat. I smiled, knowing it must be from Luke. I wasn’t sure how he’d managed to get in my building, but the fact that Luke had taken time out of what would have been a very busy day to go shopping, then drop it off at my place, was almost as amazing as the gift itself. Almost.

As I dispersed the copious amounts of tissue paper, I pulled out the most beautiful lingerie I’d ever seen in my life. It was a bra, two sets of panties and a bustier, all in gothic, red lace. Quickly, I stripped bare to try it on. It was soft and sexy, the bustier pushing my boobs up and covering my skin just enough so I didn’t spill out. I couldn’t wait for Luke to see me later that evening. I was pretty sure he’d be happy with his purchase. I wasn’t sure the panties would last long under his fingers. I wasn’t sure I minded that idea at all.

Amongst the tissue paper was a note.

I want you to feel as amazing as I know you are.

You have nothing to worry about.

We got this. Love, Luke

Being with Luke made me feel like a goddess. I’d never felt so adored. I was beginning to think he was right. Maybe we did have this.

I slipped a black dress over my new underwear and quickly put on some makeup before heading out to meet everyone for dinner.

As I arrived at the restaurant Haven had chosen, my anxiety faded. My focus was on the feel of the lace against my skin and the thought of Luke’s face when he saw me later in nothing but what he’d bought me. If distraction had been Luke’s intention, then mission accomplished.

“Hey,” I said, arriving at our assigned table. I was the last to arrive, which wasn’t like me. I clipped people’s cheeks with my kisses. Even Beth was here. “This place looks beautiful, Haven.”