I looked down at our joined hands. How was I going to let him down easy, and get him out of my house so I could go and be with the man that I really wanted?

“You’re right, I can’t say that I didn’t feel anything, but I didn’t feel what you’re feeling. You’re my friend.” I paused to take a breath. “A friend that I thought I had a mutual understanding with. I thought what we had was a give and a take, but it was never going to go beyond that.”

“Maybe it was at first, but it stopped being that way for me a long time ago. If it was just sex, Harper, I wouldn’t have taken you out to dinner or anywhere else. I would have just come over, fucked you, and been done with it.”

He was right. How was it that I’d never noticed the signs? I’d been leading him on the whole time and I hadn’t even realized it. And the ‘World’s Biggest Bitch’ award goes to …

“I’m so sorry, Michael. I didn’t realize. But we can’t be anything more. I love Kyler. I think it’s always been him.”

“And where is your precious Ky now?” he sneered.

“Not that I owe you any explanation, but he’s at his parents’ house. His dad’s health has been declining and he’s been over there dealing with all of that. Speaking of which, I need to go so I can be with him.”

I started to get up but he pushed me back down.

“Michael, I’m serious, I don’t have time for this. I didn’t mean to string you along, but I really need to go.”

I stood up and started to walk towards the door, but he wasn’t going to take no for answer. He grabbed me by my upper arm, spinning me around so I was facing him. At first I saw sadness in his eyes, but that was quickly overshadowed by determination. I knew what was happening but wasn’t fast enough to stop it. He brought his mouth down on mine and kissed me.

I stood there, completely shocked that he had forced himself on me, when he knew I didn’t want this. My mouth stayed still, not kissing him back. He tried to get me to open my mouth. I felt his tongue on my lips, but I didn’t budge. I started to protest and I felt his arms wrap around me to hold me in place. That’s when I heard my front door open. I tore mouth away and I turned around to see who it was.

Kyler was standing there.

His eyes were red-rimmed, and his face was full of anger. I hadn’t seen him in so long, and the shock of seeing him standing in my doorway caused a gasp to escape my lips.

“Kyler.”

He looked from my face to Michael’s, then back to mine again. I started to take a step towards him, but the ice in his eyes stopped me in my tracks. He curled his lip, and then spoke. “I guess I’m interrupting something.”

I shook my head but he wouldn’t listen. “Don’t try to contact me again, Harper. I don’t want to see you.”

He turned around and walked out. I moved to follow Kyler, and Michael tried to stop me, but I wasn’t having it. When he grabbed my arm, I brought my hand back and swung it around. It connected with his face with a loud slap. I couldn’t stand looking at him any longer. Any friendship we may have had was destroyed.

“Get the fuck out of my house!” I shouted at him.

I ran outside but Ky was already gone. I sank into the front lawn and cried.

My Dad died today.

When I’d showed up at my parents’ house the first day back home, I couldn’t believe my eyes. My Dad looked so sick. His eyes were bloodshot and sunken. He had age-spots all over his body, and his normal ‘spark’ was just … gone. The life was practically drained from his body. He was barely holding on, fighting for every breath he took. He lay in a hospital beds bed in the middle of the living room, too weak to make the trip upstairs anymore. There were machines beeping, and he had an IV hooked up to his arm. A catheter ran beside the bed. My Dad was gone, and I had no idea what to do. I wanted to fix it or even take his place. Dad was really quiet when I first arrived, but he gave the briefest hint of a smile before closing his eyes and falling asleep.

My Mom was a fucking basket case. She was doing everything she could to hold herself together in front of my Dad, but when she wasn’t around him … Jesus! I had to pry her off the floor too many times to count. Her tears were never-ending. I had to sit her down at the table and force-feed her because she was too depressed to eat. I had to act the parent, because she’d reverted to childlike behavior.

I was so exhausted that I couldn’t remember if I’d showered or brushed my teeth. In fact, I couldn’t remember if I’d even changed my clothes. It didn’t matter though. I’d push through any of the exhaustion to take care of my parents. They needed me. There had never been a moment in my life when they weren’t there for me. It was time I did the same for them.

Then there was Harper. I felt like such an asshole for not texting or calling her, but I just had too many other things going on. I knew that she could—and would—help me out without question, but I never made the call. The days just blended together.

The moment my Dad took his last breath, I thought of Harper. I missed her—I needed her. I wanted to be with her, breathing the same air.

When my Dad’s life was finally over, I realized that I only wanted a life with Harper. I’d always wanted a life with Harper, but I wanted to live out the rest of my days with her until I drew my last breath.

The house was full of neighbors, the pastor, and my mom’s friends. I figured she’d be okay for a little bit while I went to see Harper. The whole drive over to her house, all I wanted to do was bury my face in her hair and feel her. She’d help me feel grounded.

When I pulled into her driveway, I saw Michael’s car. My grief was put to the side and I was ready to pound this kid’s face into the cement. Fuck the friendship we’d had when we were kids—this wasn’t high school anymore, and I was sick of him coming on to my girl. I parked and got out of my car, moving quickly towards the front door. I pushed the door open, ready to throw his ass out, but what I saw was not what I’d expected. Michael was holding Harper in his arms and they were kissing.

Boy, she hadn’t waited around at all, had she? In that moment, all of the fight left me. I was officially alone. Harper turned around and looked right in my eyes. My stomach coiled at the sight of her. She looked so fucking guilty. She gasped when she saw me because she’d been caught. I bet she’d been fucking him the whole time she was with me. I was such a fool.

Harper said my name, but I recoiled at just the sight of her. Turning around, I walked out of the house and got in my car. I spun out when I pulled away, speeding down the road. I ignored the stop signs in the neighborhood and drove straight to the bar.

On my way I called Finn. He was a brother to me, and he lived with us after his parents died, and I’m sure he’d want to know.

“Hey, man, how’s it going?” He sounded happy. Why wouldn’t he be? He’d just had a baby.

“Not good. Dad just died.” I wished I could have said it better—less harsh—but there was no other way to do it.

He was quiet for a few short beats. “Jesus. How are you doing?”

“Been better.”

“Yeah. Okay, well, I’ll let Em know and catch the first flight out there. I’m sure she’ll want to come but Allie is still so little and I’d rather not put her on a plane.”

“Okay.”

“Is there anything I can do for you or your mom until I get there?” he asked.

“No. Mom’s at home with some people to help with the funeral arrangements.”

“What about you?”

“I’m headed to the bar. I need to take my mind off it.” My voice sounded completely dead.

“Look, man, I’m not sure that’s the best idea. Where’s Harper?”

I let out a brief and angered laughed. “Why don’t you call Michael, I bet he knows where she is.”