As I gazed at her, she morphed into a little boy with strawberry blond hair, looking at the water in awe. It was a memory of the day I’d jumped on a bus with him and taken him to Balloch so he could see the loch for the first time. He’d been six; I was only fourteen.
“I still can’t believe my wee brother is married.”
“He’s twenty-seven, Jo,” Cam reminded me gently.
“He’ll always be wee to me,” I whispered, feeling a little emotional. “You’ll get it with Belle.
She’ll always be six years old to you.”
“Baby, are you all right?” He ducked his head to look at my face.
“It’s silly.” I shook my head, blinking back tears. “I just feel like… ever since I got everything I ever wanted, time has just sped up. Belle will be in high school before we know it. I love being a mum. I love us as parents. I don’t want that to stop.”
“It will never stop, Jo.”
“I know, but look at Cole. It doesn’t stop, but they don’t need you the same way after a while.”
Cam was silent a moment, I think surprised by my sadness.
But like always, he had the ability to surprise me too. “Do you…? Do you want another baby?”
I tensed against him, afraid to look him in the eye and give myself away. “You’re forty this year, Cam.”
“And you’re only coming on thirty-five. There’s still time… if that’s what you want?”
Hope began to bubble up within me as I turned to look at him. For months this had been pressing on me, but Cameron had never given any hint that he wanted to have another kid. It would be more financial stress. It would mean maybe having to look for another place to live. But I really wanted another baby. I wanted Belle to be a big sister like I had been, and to have her little brother or sister look up to her the way that Cole had looked up to me.
“Would you want another baby?”
Cam searched my eyes, a small smile starting to play on his lips. “Yeah, I’d want another baby. I just didn’t think it was something you wanted. You usually tell me when you want something, Jo.” He was grinning now as he saw the excitement enter my eyes.
“I really want another child,” I whispered. “I really do.”
He nodded slowly. “Then we’ll start trying.”
“Just like that? No discussion?”
“It won’t be easy.” He stared off down the beach. The others had gotten farther ahead of us, and Belle and Sara were skipping down the beach hand in hand now. “But it’s worth it.”
I wrapped my arms around his neck, holding on tight. “I love you.”
“I love you too.”
I kissed him, a long, slow, sweet kiss filled with every ounce of love and gratitude I had within me that after all these years Cameron MacCabe still had the ability to make me the happiest woman on the planet. Tears trembled on my eyelashes, and when he broke the kiss they splashed onto my cheeks.
Cam swiped at them with his thumb. “Happy tears?”
“Very.”
He grinned and hugged me tighter. “This will be fun.”
“Adding another kid to the tribe?” I sniffled, chuckling.
“I meant the constant sex… but yeah, that too.”
My laughter rang out down the beach as he tugged my hand and led me toward our family. At the sound of my laugher, Belle, blond hair flying wildly around her smiling face, immediately dashed back up the beach toward us.
Ellie
Leaning silently against the doorway of my mum’s kitchen, I studied Adam’s back as he stood alone at the sink washing the cups and mugs that couldn’t go in the dishwasher.
For not the first time I thanked God I married a man who didn’t mind kitchen duty.
“I can feel you there, you know,” he said quietly, the words tinged with amusement.
I smiled and stepped into the room. “Hannah and Marco are leaving in a bit.”
“We should probably head home too. I think Jarrod has worn out Bray.”
Slipping up behind him, I slid my arms around him, crossing them over his chest as I leaned my cheek against his shoulder. “I was thinking…”
“Hmm, that’s never a good thing.”
“I’m serious.”
Adam snorted. “So am I.”
I rolled my eyes even though he couldn’t see me do it. “You’ll like this line of thought. I promise.”
In answer he stopped drying a mug and turned so I had to rearrange my arms around his shoulders as he drew me chest against chest to him. I stared into his dark eyes, seeing a glimmer of discontentment in them. I’d seen that look a few times now over the past few weeks, and it was starting to make me anxious. It was only after we’d booked the kids’ holiday to Disney World that I began to suspect what was wrong.
“I’ve been neglecting you,” I whispered, brushing his hair from his face.
There were a few wrinkles around his eyes that didn’t used to be there, but they only made him look rugged and interesting. Bloody men. Why was it so many of them got better-looking with age while we women had to work our arses off to stay looking young?
“Ellie?”
I shook my head, focusing. “I’ve been working on my paper, and I’ve been spending all my free time with the kids, and you’ve been busy. You and I haven’t had any ‘us time.’”
He nodded, something like relief entering his expression, and I was suffused with guilt.
“You thought I hadn’t noticed?” I said.
“Like you said, we’ve been busy.” He shrugged.
“Adam, I’ve noticed we haven’t been on a date in months. I’ve noticed we haven’t had time for more than a quickie in months.” I pressed into him. “You have to tell me when you’re unhappy.”
“Els.” He wrapped his arms even tighter around me. “I’m not unhappy. I’ve just missed you. I never wanted to be like my parents and ignore my kids, but I also would like some time with my wife every now and then.”
“Me too.” I smiled slowly. “That’s why I asked Mum and Clark to take the kids tonight. We’ll pop home and get them some overnight stuff, bring it back here, and then you and I can do whatever the hell we want.”
Adam raised his eyebrows. “Are you kidding? Because if you’re kidding, it’s really cruel.”
I giggled. “I’m not kidding. Just you and me, sweetheart.”
He kissed me, a soft kiss that promised more, and then he pulled back to whisper against my mouth, “We’ll drop off the kids’ stuff and then we’re going home so I can fuck you as hard as I want and you can come as loudly as you want.”
A streak of arousal shot straight between my legs, and I nodded, speechless.
His eyes heated. “Let’s go now.”
I grinned and nodded. “I have another present for you.”
“Please say see-through lingerie.”
Laughing, I shook my head. “Better.”
He looked doubtful that there was anything better than see-through lingerie.
“We’ll do Disney World with the boys in the summer and have a ball with them.” Because as much as he teased about the predicted chaos of the upcoming holiday, he loved hanging out with his boys.
His real issue had been that he never got to see me… alone. “And afterward, you and I are going to Joss and Braden’s villa at Lake Como for four nights. They said we could have it, and Mum and Clark are happy to look after the boys.”
Adam stared at me a moment as if in disbelief. When he realized I was serious, he kissed me again, harder this time. We broke the kiss to gasp for breath, and he said, voice hoarse, “I fucking love you.”
“Kind of hard to hate me, sweetie,” I teased.
“You’re not joking,” he grunted, backing me up toward the door. “Home, kids’ stuff, back here, home, screwing like teenagers. Now.”
Well, he didn’t need to tell me twice.
Joss
“Mum, are you writing?”
My fingers stilled on the keys of my laptop at the sound of my eldest’s voice behind me. “Is this the room in which I write?” I said without turning around.
“You didn’t look like you were writing.”