Kayden: I saw your post to Freddie, we went to school together and I knew your brother.

Freddie is a life-long family friend, my brother’s best friend throughout childhood. Freddie went on vacations with my family, attended holidays, and still visits my grandparents to this day.

Me: Freddie’s such a nice guy; I’ve known him for as long as I can remember.

Kayden: I don’t remember you hanging out with us back in the day.

Butterflies filled my stomach as I thought about my brother’s friends. I had a crush on most of them during my awkward teenage years, but they treated me like a little sister. I wanted to tag along and be included, but I was looked at as more of a nuisance.

Me: I’m younger than my brother and didn’t really hang out with them.

Kayden: Probably for the best… at least for you, not for me.

I smiled at his small flirtation; those guys had flirting down pat. Girls dropped their panties for a wink or a smile. They lived in a world filled with color, while my world’s been saturated in somber tones.

Me: It was best for me at the time. Thanks for the request, maybe we’ll talk again sometime.

Kayden: Hey, wait. Where ya going?

I tapped my finger against the phone thinking of a response. Shit. I couldn’t think of anything witty, my mind going blank.

Me: Well, I found out how I knew you, figured we’re done.

Kayden: I’m not. I heard your brother got in some trouble a couple years back?

I sighed reading his words. My brother led a different life, never taking the easy road. He lived the rebellious life filled with adventure and danger; I read books, attended college, and fucked only three guys in my life. Trouble sounded more like he’d been slapped on the hand for touching something off limits; my brother spent two years in prison on a conspiracy charge… we’re polar opposites.

Me: Yeah, he’s doing fine now, though. Were you mixed up in that world?

Kayden: Hell no, I wrestled with the guys in school, but never hung out with them much after high school.

Me: Smart boy.

Kayden: Boy? It’s been a long time since someone called me that, little girl.

I smirked blinking slowly at his reply, his words made my insides warm.

Me: LOL. Tell me about Kayden ‘the man’.

Kayden: Anything you want. I’ll give you the short version of my life story. I live in New Orleans, install cable, I’m thirty-six, work hard, play harder, and I’m blissfully single.

Me: I’m a school librarian, live in Florida, divorced, I’m thirty-two and I’m navy blue.

I blushed hitting the send button. My message was cryptic and I knew that only I would understand. He played hard, while I stayed home on a Friday to go to bed with my book boyfriends.

Kayden: What the hell does that mean?

Way to go, make him think you’re absolutely crazy, Sophia. I needed to stop talking before I really embarrassed myself.

Me: Nothing, just an inside joke. Hey, I’m tired; maybe we can talk again soon.

Kayden: We will., I have to be up early for work anyways. Sweet dreams beautiful.

My cheeks warmed with his words—beautiful. I’ve been called beautiful before, but usually not by a man I’d classify as out of my league.

Me: Night.

What the fuck did I do? A sexy man was flirting with me and I ran away like a scared school girl. Sighing, I opened my book and began reading the words on the page; I pictured his sparkling green eyes looking into mine and his luscious lips on my skin.

I haven’t been able to get Kayden out of my mind all night, and it had bled over into my morning. I wanted to message him since the moment I woke up, but I didn’t have the nerve. I spent the morning reading his profile page, almost cyber-stalking him. I wanted to know everything about him, but I had to start with our connection, Freddie.

Me: Hey Freddie. Question for you—Do you know Kayden Michaels?

Freddie: Yeah, we went to school together. Why?

I bit my nail trying to think of how to answer this without it getting back to my brother?

Me: He sent me a friend request. I wanted to know if he’s an asshole?

Freddie: Nah kid, he’s a good guy. Did you talk to him?

Me: Not really, just wanted to make sure it’s okay to accept his friend request.

Freddie: Yeah, it’s cool. If he gives you any shit, you tell me.

Me: Always Freddie. Thanks!

Freddie had given him the stamp of approval; I just needed to get the courage to send him a message.

Kayden: Morning Sophia. Sleep well?

Oh. My. Fucking. God. Did he know I was stalking him? Did Freddie say something to him? Concentrate on breathing… inhale and exhale, slowly.

Me: Hey, yeah… I slept well and you?

Hey, yeah? I should just crawl into a hole now or bang my head against the bedroom wall. Why not just lead with: Hell yes, I thought about banging your brains out before I drifted off to sleep.

Kayden: Slept like a baby. What did you mean last night about being navy blue? You intrigued me with that statement.

I twirled my hair thinking of a way to explain navy blue. Fuck it… just tell him.

Me: I don’t know how to explain it. Is navy blue an exciting color?

I rolled my eyes at my stupidity. Shit. I fidgeted waiting for his response.

Kayden: Umm, not really.

Me: Well, it’s the color of my life.

Heat crept across my cheeks.

Kayden: Impossible.

Me: Entirely true.

Kayden: Come on, you’re Mike’s sister and you’re hot as hell. No way that you’re boring.

My belly flipped with ‘hot as hell’. I loved him flirting with me; it made my body all tingly and warm.

Me: I’m nothing like my brother, Kayden. I learned what not to do by watching him.

Kayden—even his name wasn’t bland.

Kayden: I never thought you were, you just share DNA. That doesn’t make you navy blue. Tell me more about yourself. Are you seeing anyone?

I bit my lip. How much should I tell him? I’ll never meet him; why not throw it all on the table? Just enjoy the flirtation and his color.

Me: I’m seeing someone casually. A teacher from work and he’s a nice guy.

Kayden: That’s the kiss of death.

Me: What is?

Kayden: He’s a nice guy is code for he sucks.

I snickered, covering my mouth, at the spot on interpretation of Bob.

Me: He doesn’t suck; Bob can be boring at times. It’s not easy to find someone to fit my perfect mold.

Kayden: I thought I found ‘the one’ twice in my life… I’ve abandoned the possibility and stopped dating all together.

I frowned at the second half of his statement. Why are all the hot guys unavailable? It leaves the single ladies my age to drown a sea of boredom.

Me: I can’t give up on filling the mold, not yet at least.

Kayden: Why did you end up divorced? If I can ask, I don’t want to offend you.

I sighed. How to explain what happened with us. It’s complicated and fucked up.

Me: So many things went wrong. I met him right after high school and we married years later. The relationship lacked in so many ways, but I ignored them, waiting for it to change.

A lump formed in my throat thinking about my past failure. I thought I’d be with him forever; we’d have a family and grow old together.

Kayden: Lacked how?

Me: I felt more like a roommate and his housekeeper. Totally passionless… there was no romance. We talked about having kids, but it would’ve been a miracle.