Liar, my brain shouted at me. You’re a liar.
Chase tossed the pillow to the floor and walked to the edge of the bed tugged my feet so hard my legs straightened, then he and his towel decided to straddle me. My body shook as he pulled the towel from his waist — it happily joined the pillow on the floor. Stupid towel. I was jealous of a towel because it had touched Chase. It had wrapped itself around him. And given the chance, I’d do the same thing — well given the chance, I’d probably do exactly what I was doing.
Panic.
“Mil…” Was the man a damn exhibitionist? I kept my eyes trained on his, burning with embarrassment as his body pressed against mine. A small moan escaped my lips before I could stop it.
Chase grinned, that same smug grin that made me want to scratch his eyes out while mauling him with my mouth.
“Take off your shirt,” he ordered, still straddling me.
I didn’t move.
Chase, however, did. It was as if he knew exactly what I needed and wanted, but recognized the sheer terror behind his question and took matters into his own hands.
Cold air bit at my sensitive skin as he tugged my tank top off and threw it onto the floor. That damn towel was getting quite a show.
“Jeans.” Chase’s hands moved to the button of my jeans. I swear the sound of my jeans being unzipped by someone other than me was the most terrifying thing I’d ever heard.
With a grunt, he moved off of me and walked to the end of the bed where he tugged the hems of my jeans until my legs were completely bare. Chilled air from the air conditioning vent blew across my heated skin. Holding my gaze, he tossed the jeans into the laundry heap he’d created.
I was lying on the bed, shaking, in nothing but my pink bra and underwear, and hoping to God that I didn’t look as scared as I felt. Sure, I was excited, but with excitement came the idea that the power of our relationship would shift if we slept together. I’d be done. I’d be owned, branded, wrecked, and then he’d want to know everything that woke me up at night — the scars that still haunted me.
He’d know my shame.
I closed my eyes.
“Look at me,” Chase ordered.
I opened one eye, then two as Chase’s smile went from smug to warm, trusting, loving, perfect.
“You’re freaking beautiful, Mil.” He slowly crawled back onto the bed. His mouth touched my leg, and I jerked with pleasure. His tongue made an appearance, swirling its way up my thigh. I whimpered. My body trembled as his hands moved to my hips. It was as if my body fit perfectly in his hands — in his care.
“Let it go.” Chase laid his head on my hip. His hot breath ran across my belly button making me shiver. “Whatever it is, Mil. Just let it go. You can trust me — I’ll protect you until I die. If you remember one thing from these lips, it’s this. I’ll die before letting you go.”
Tension soared out of my body at his words.
He kissed my stomach and worked his way up to the crevice between my breasts. And then he laughed.
“What?” Was he seriously making fun of my body?
“Wait.” Chase kept laughing, his face at eye-level with my chest. “It’s not you.”
Oh great the it’s not you, it’s me speech.
“Do you even realize how uncomfortable it was for me to ride down the elevator and meet with Nixon while flashes of this,” he asked as he fingered the lacy strap of my bra, “kept slamming into my head?” His hands grazed the top of my breasts as he sighed and kissed where his fingers had just been, “I swear I almost turned around to come back a dozen times. Pink bra… hmm, may have special powers.” He grinned. “I was so turned on I had to drink. You turned me to alcohol with just a glance. One look and I was drowning my sorrows in beer. You’re lucky I didn’t pass out and suffocate.”
A laugh escaped my lips. “Sorry.”
“Don’t lie,” Chase scolded, biting down on the flesh on my collarbone then licking where his teeth had just been. “You couldn’t care less about putting me through hell.”
“True.” I breathed.
“And I deserved it.”
“You did,” I agreed.
“Because I was ogling.”
“To be fair,” I moaned, arching against his hand as he cupped my neck, “I did flash you.”
“Which isn’t really playing fair, now is it, Mil?” He chuckled against my ear and then swiped his tongue around the upper shell like he was licking an ice cream cone.
“No?” My voice shook as chills wracked my body. How was he able to have a conversation right now?
“Mil…” Chase shifted his focus and his mouth brushed mine lightly, the scrape of his five o’clock shadow had me trembling with desire.
I wanted more. I wanted to grab him by his ridiculously handsome face and never let go.
“I’ll stop, if you want, but know that if I do, I may have to spend the night in the bathroom. Door locked. With visions of a naked Tex running through my head so I don’t come in here and take advantage of you.”
“What happened to the moment?”
“This is it.” Chase’s mouth met mine again. “The first moment in a lifetime of moments. I’m going to collect them.”
“You can do that?” I teased, feeling more comfortable with his naked body pressed against mine. “Collect moments?”
“I’m doing it now.” His green eyes flashed. “Bee-stung lips, high cheekbones, perfect skin that feels like velvet, scents of vanilla here,” he tapped my ear, “and here.” His hand ran down the middle of my chest. “Legs that go on forever.” He grinned. “A smile that could both start a war and end it. And the most beautiful eyes, I’ve ever seen.” He pressed a kiss at the corner of my mouth. “God, I love your eyes.”
“I love yours,” I echoed in a small voice.
Those same green eyes widened as a smile broke out across his face; it hurt to look at him. Just being with Chase was overwhelming.
“Say something now, Mil.” His finger traced from my mouth to my jaw line. “Because I can only keep myself from you for so long.”
“Now.” I shrugged, a teasing smile dancing on my lips.
“Now?” He repeated and then like a light bulb or, in Chase’s case, a bull taking over his brain, he tugged at my bra and then my underwear. It was just us. Hot as fire, skin against skin.
Safe.
Home.
Protected.
And that part of my heart he’d held for so long finally found its home — in his arms.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Chase
I’d lost complete control of myself when I’d caught Mil watching me, and then teasing her had done nothing except the inevitable. It had led me to this moment, where I was at a crossroads. I wanted her so bad — my body did. But my heart? I wasn’t sure where it stood.
All I knew is for the first time in a really long time, I saw Mil’s face, her face, not Trace’s. When I felt Mil’s body with my hands, she consumed my everything, and I wanted to wreck her for anyone else.
I wanted to brand her with my touch.
I wanted to sear her with my kiss, sealing her mouth with such strong memories of what my lips felt like against hers that she’d never forget as long as she lived.
Holding her in my arms, feeling her heartbeat against my hand as I removed the last shred of her lingerie.
It was the best feeling in the world. I wasn’t worrying about Nixon or Trace or some damn love triangle — it was just me and Mil. Just me and my wife, and I wanted — no I needed to love her like she deserved.
I closed my eyes… finally releasing the last part of me that was clinging to Trace. And when I opened my eyes? I felt like I could soar, as Mil looked up through thick black lashes, asking me the question every girl does when she’s in a vulnerable position. Will you love me? Will you leave me? Or will you give your body while you take all of mine?
I flipped over onto my back, pulling Mil on top of me. I figured she’d need to feel in control; she wasn’t one to give up herself willingly. But the minute she was on top of me, it was as if she was confused about what to do. Damn, my body was having no issues remembering what to do. I almost wished it would have, because then it wouldn’t be the fastest sexual experience of my life.