I laughed bitterly.

“That funny?” He breathed so close to my lips I could taste him.

“You, being worried? Yeah, hilarious as hell.”

His eyes narrowed into slits. “One more rule…”

“Oh yeah?”

“You’re mine.”

“P-pardon?” My brain wasn’t expecting that. I wasn’t able to form words. My body, however, arched toward him, having ideas of its own.

“Mine. You’re… mine.” He said it simply, slowly, as if I had English comprehension issues. “What’s mine is mine. Nobody lays a hand on you. Until this whole fiasco is over — it’s you and me. I’ll kill anyone who touches you, and if I see you look at a another man in a way I deem less than respectful toward me, your husband, I will not only end his life where he stands, but hold you personally responsible for doing so.”

I just lost my ability to breathe.

“That’s it.” He stepped back while I collapsed onto the side of the tub, nearly falling into the shower spray. Pretty sure those two words, that’s it, held new meaning. He made it sound so easy.

“Fine,” I whispered. “I think I can handle that.”

He gave a jerky nod and walked back to the door. His hand hovered over the handle. Dear Lord, please just leave!

“One more thing.” He turned. “How many?”

“Uh, three?” I shrugged. “Fourteen? What the hell are you asking? I don’t read minds.”

“Guys.” A muscle flexed across Chase’s jaw as his green eyes bore into me. “How many since you and I were together?”

“Two.”

He swore and let himself out of the bathroom. I charged toward the door and locked it as fast as I could. With a jerky sigh, I slid down the door and collapsed onto the cool tile.

I’d lied.

It hadn’t been two.

It hadn’t even been one.

I hadn’t been with anyone since Chase — because nobody would ever compare to the boy who’d stole my innocence, my heart, and refused to give it back. I’d tucked that little secret deep into myself, because as Chase had said, I don’t get to feel. My father had made sure of that. He’d made sure that Phoenix and I hadn’t felt anything when it came to the ugliness of the world. And in the end, it had been my saving grace. My bastard of a father had saved my life — and all because he’d taught me how to close into myself.

I looked down at the scar on my arm, my battle wound, my trophy. Four years ago, I’d been afraid.

Now all I felt was numb.

Chase had my heart, but he would never get my soul; it had been taken from me the same day I’d earned my scar, never to be returned.

He’d been right about one thing. I’d refused to feel because I’d refused to go down without a fight. I was going to finish what the De Langes started, and they were all going to die.

Chapter Fourteen

Chase

I half-expected the word jackass to be written across my forehead when I woke up the next morning and looked into the mirror. I wouldn’t put it past Mil. I wouldn’t put anything past that woman — after all, I had seduced her when she was a teen. Not that I’d done it well, by any stretch of the imagination. I winced at the memory…

“What are you doing?” Mil asked as I kissed her mouth long and hard.

“Kissing a pretty girl.”

“You really think I’m pretty?” She blushed and looked down.

No. She was freaking beautiful. Her eyes were so blue that it almost hurt to look at her, silky black hair slid through my fingers each time I gripped her head with my hands. Every touch, every sensation felt like heaven, and I wanted to go to heaven so damn bad — that’s what happened when you lived in hell — you wanted what you couldn’t have. And I wanted her.

“Is this okay?” I reached for her shirt and slowly undid the buttons. She blushed, but still nodded, so I continued, hands shaking. I didn’t know what the hell I was doing. All I knew was that she called out to me; she was my siren song, and I was lost at sea.

“Chase.” Mil’s hands shook as they pressed against my chest. “I’ve never done this before.”

“Me either.” I laughed. “Do you still want to?”

She nodded shyly and tucked her hair behind her ears, looking more innocent than ever.

“Good.” Because I wasn’t sure my body knew the word stop at that point. I finished unbuttoning her shirt and let it drop to the floor. With a shudder, she straightened her shoulders and undid her bra, letting it too, fall to the floor.

Blood roared in my ears as I stared.

I couldn’t do anything but that.

I stared like a lunatic, like a man who’d never seen breasts before — I had — but never on a woman so perfect. With a groan, I threw her onto the bed. Her hands moved to my jeans. Cursing my own inexperience, I pushed away from her to strip off the rest of my clothes.

And then it hit me.

I really, seriously, had no idea what to do next.

She must have read the panic in my eyes, because she tried to push me away.

“No, no.” I kissed her mouth. “It’s not you.”

“But you, you—”

I silenced her with my lips again. “Mil, look at me. It’s not you, I’m just… you make me nervous.”

“Oh.” She fell back onto the bed and smiled. “Well, you make me nervous too, but I still want my first to be with you.”

“Why’s that? You barely know me,” I joked. We’d met at breakfast. I’d assumed she was one of the cousins. We vacationed big in our business, never went anywhere without all the family, always. Besides, there had been some big deal our dads were involved in that had luckily made it so that all of us friends could go to Vegas with them and the women.

Between Nixon, Tex, and me, we had enough cousins to probably fill at least two towers at Caesar’s Palace.

“I know enough.” Mil’s eyes glistened. “I know you’ll keep me safe.”

“Oh yeah?” My brows furrowed. “And what gives you that idea.”

She grabbed the necklace I always wore around my neck and gave it a little tug. It was a silver cross with a giant letter A across it. “Because you’re an Abandonato. She said you’d be safe.”

“She?”

“Are we doing this or not?” Mil wrapped the necklace around her fingers, tugging my face closer to hers.

“We’re doing it.” I kissed her hard. “And you’re right. I’m safe.”

“I know you are.” She sighed against my mouth. “It’s why I picked you.”

Five horrifyingly short minutes later, and we were both laughing our asses off.

“It’s okay!” Mil told me for the third time. “Really, I knew it wouldn’t be that great at first.”

“Wow, thanks.” I swore.

“You know what I mean!” She wrapped her arms around me. “We’ll keep practicing.”

“Practicing?”

“Yeah, silly.” She pushed against my chest. “I mean, I imagine we’ve skipped past the whole dating thing and slipped to sleeping together. But, after today—”

“Wait.” Panicking, I pushed away from her and told myself to stop freaking out. “Mil, I mean, don’t get me wrong. You’re hot as hell, but I thought this was just a one-time thing, you know? For fun.” I gave her a really big smile, hoping she’d smile back and shrug.

No smile. No shrug. But I did see tears begin to well.

“Aw, shit.” I pinched the bridge of my nose. “Mil, we can talk about it, I mean, if you wanted a boyfriend you should have—”

“I never said I wanted a boyfriend.” Mil looked down at her hands. “I said I wanted to feel safe. You promised you were safe. You promised.”

“I know and I am. Why? Did I hurt you?”

“You’re hurting me now!” She threw a pillow at my face and jumped out of her bed. “Where the hell is my bra?”

“Mil, stop freaking out.”