“Don’t know,” Tatiana replied. “Open your mouth.”
“Tania, I can feed myself.”
“You want to feed yourself?”
“No.”
“Let me take care of you,” she said tenderly. “Let me do what you know I ache to do for you. Let me do for you.”
“Tania, where is my wedding ring?” he asked. “It was hanging on a rope around my neck. Did I lose it?”
Smiling, she pulled the braided rope out of her uniform. Two rings hung next to each other. “I’ll keep it until we can wear them again.”
“Feed me,” he said, his voice deepening with emotion.
Before she could feed him, Colonel Stepanov came to see Alexander. “I heard you’d awakened,” he said, glancing at Tatiana. “Is this a bad time?”
Tatiana shook her head, put the spoon back on the tray, and stood up. “Are you Colonel Stepanov?” she asked, looking from Alexander to the colonel.
“Yes,” he replied, puzzled. “And you are—”
Tatiana took the colonel’s hand in both of hers and held it. “I’m Tatiana Metanova,” she said. “I just want to thank you, Colonel, for all you have done for Major Belov.” She did not let go of his hand, and he did not pull away. “Thank you, sir,” she repeated.
Alexander wanted to hug his wife. “Colonel,” he said, grinning, “my nurse knows that my commander has been good to me.”
“Nothing you don’t deserve, Major,” said Stepanov. He did not pull his hand away from Tatiana’s until she released him. “Have you seen your medal?”
The medal hung on the back of the chair by Alexander’s bed.
“Why didn’t they wait until I was conscious to give it to me?” Alexander asked.
Stepanov said, “We didn’t know if—”
“Not just a medal, Major,” interrupted Tatiana. “The highest medal of honor there is. A Hero of the Soviet Union medal!” she added breathlessly.
Stepanov looked from Tatiana to Alexander and back again and said, “Your nurse is very… proud of you, Major.”
“Yes, sir.” He was trying not to smile.
Stepanov said, “Tell you what, why don’t I come back another time, when you’re less busy?”
“Wait, sir,” Alexander said, looking away from Tatiana for a moment. “How are our troops doing?”
“They’re fine. They had their ten days off, and now they’re trying to push the Germans out of Sinyavino. Big problems there. But you know, little by little.” Stepanov paused. “Better news—von Paulus surrendered in Stalingrad last month.” Stepanov chuckled. “Hitler made von Paulus a field marshal two days before surrender. He said no German field marshal in history had ever surrendered.”
Alexander smiled. “Von Paulus obviously wanted to make history. That is great news. Stalingrad held. Leningrad broke the blockade. We may yet win this war.” He fell quiet. “It will be a Pyrrhic victory indeed.”
“Indeed.” Stepanov shook Alexander’s hand. “The kinds of losses we’re suffering, I don’t know who’ll be left to enjoy even a Pyrrhic victory.” He sighed. “Get better soon, Major. Another promotion is waiting for you. Whatever else happens, we’ll get you away from the front line.”
“Don’t want to be away from the action, sir.”
Tatiana shoved him in the shoulder.
“I mean, yes, thank you, sir.”
Again Stepanov stared at Alexander and Tatiana.
“It’s good to see you in better spirits, Major. I don’t remember the last time I saw you so… cheerful. Near-fatal injury agrees with you.”
Stepanov left.
“Well, you’ve completely flummoxed the colonel,” said Alexander, grinning at Tatiana. “What did he mean by near-fatal injury?”
“Hyperbole. But you were right. He is a nice man.” Tatiana looked at Alexander with teasing rebuke. “I can see you forgot to thank him for me, though.”
“Tania, we’re men. We don’t go around slapping each other on the shoulder.”
“Open your mouth.”
“What food did you bring me?”
She had brought cabbage soup with potatoes and white bread with butter.
“Where did you get all this butter from?” There was a quarter of a kilo.
“Wounded soldiers get extra butter,” she said. “And you get extra extra butter.”
“Like extra extra morphine?” he asked, smiling at her.
“Mmm. You need to get better quick.”
Every time the spoon moved to his mouth, bringing her fingers closer to him, Alexander breathed in deeply, trying to smell her hands behind the soup.
“Have you eaten?”
Tatiana shrugged. “Who’s got time to eat?” she said breezily. She pulled up her chair closer to his bed.
Alexander said, “Do you think the other patients will object if my nurse kisses me?”
“Yes,” she said, pulling away a bit. “They’re going to think I kiss everybody.”
Alexander looked around. There was a man across the room from them, dying, his legs gone. Nothing could be done for him. In the isolation tent next to Alexander’s bed, he heard a man struggling for his every breath. Like Marazov.
“What’s wrong with him?”
“Oh, Nikolai Ouspensky? He’s lost a lung,” Tatiana said. She cleared her throat. “He’ll be fine. He is a nice man. His wife lives in a village nearby, keeps sending him onions.”
“Onions?”
Tatiana shrugged. “Villagers, what can I tell you.”
“Tania,” he said quietly, “Ina told me I needed fluid replacement. How badly—”
Tatiana quickly said, “You’re going to be fine. You lost a little blood, that’s all.” She paused, then shook something off. “Listen,” she said, lowering her voice to a whisper, “listen carefully—”
“Why aren’t you here with me all the time? Why aren’t you my nurse?”
“Wait. Two days ago you told me to go away, and now you want me here all the time?”
“Yes.”
“Dearest,” she whispered, smiling, “he is here all the time. Did you not hear me? I’m trying to keep a professional distance. Ina is a good critical care nurse. Soon you’ll get better, and maybe we can move you to a convalescent bed if you want.”
“Is that where you are? I’ll get better in a week.”
“No, Shura. I’m not there.”
“Where are you?”
“Listen, I need to talk to you, and you keep interrupting.”
“I won’t interrupt,” said Alexander, “if you hold my hand under the blanket.”
Tatiana stuck her hand under the blanket and took hold of his hand, intertwining her little fingers through his. “If I were stronger, bigger, like you,” she said softly, “I would have picked you up and carried you off the ice myself.”
Squeezing her hand tight, he said, “Don’t make me upset, all right? I’m too happy to see your lovely face. Please kiss me.”
“No, Shura, will you listen—”
“Why do you look so fucking incredible? Why are you oozing happiness? I don’t think you’ve ever looked better.”
Tatiana leaned toward him, parting her lips and lowering her voice to a husky whisper. “Not even in Lazarevo?”
“Stop, you’re making a grown man cry. You’re just shining from the inside out.”
“You’re alive. I’m ecstatic.” She looked ecstatic.
“How did you get to the front?”
“If you would listen, I’d tell you.” She smiled. “When I left Lazarevo, I knew I wanted to become a critical care nurse. Then after you came to see me in November, I decided to enlist. I was going to the front where you were. If you were going into battle for Leningrad, so was I. I was going to go on the ice with the medics.”
“That was your plan?”
“Yes.”
He shook his head. “I’m glad you didn’t tell me then, and I certainly don’t have the strength for this now.”
“You’re going to need a lot more strength when you hear what I’m about to tell you.” She could barely contain her excitement. His heart pounded. “So when Dr. Sayers came to Grechesky,” Tatiana continued, “I immediately asked him if he needed an extra pair of hands. He came to Leningrad at the Red Army’s request to help with the anticipated flow of the wounded in this attack.” She lowered her voice. “I have to tell you, I think even the Soviets underestimated the number of wounded. There is simply no place to put anyone. Anyway, after Dr. Sayers told me he was going to the Leningrad front, I asked him if there was anything I could do to help…” Tatiana smiled. “I learned that question from you. As it turned out, he did need my help. The only nurse he had brought with him took ill. Not a surprise is it, in wintry Leningrad? Poor thing caught TB.” Tatiana shook her head. “Imagine. Now she’s better, but she remained in Grechesky. They need her there. Since I hadn’t enlisted yet, I came here with Dr. Sayers as his temporary assistant instead. Look,” Tatiana said proudly, showing Alexander her white armband with the Red Cross symbol on it. “Instead of a Red Army nurse, I’m a Red Cross nurse! Isn’t this great?” She beamed.