With shame I shudder and with dread—
But boldly I myself resign:
Thine honour is my countersign!
XXXIV
Tattiana moans and now she sighs
And in her grasp the letter shakes,
Even the rosy wafer dries
Upon her tongue which fever bakes.
Her head upon her breast declines
And an enchanting shoulder shines
From her half-open vest of night.
But lo! already the moon's light
Is waning. Yonder valley deep
Looms gray behind the mist and morn
Silvers the brook; the shepherd's horn
Arouses rustics from their sleep.
'Tis day, the family downstairs,
But nought for this Tattiana cares.
XXXV
The break of day she doth not see,
But sits in bed with air depressed,
Nor on the letter yet hath she
The image of her seal impressed.
But gray Phillippevna the door
Opened with care, and entering bore
A cup of tea upon a tray.
"'Tis time, my child, arise, I pray!
My beauty, thou art ready too.
My morning birdie, yesternight
I was half silly with affright.
But praised be God! in health art thou!
The pains of night have wholly fled,
Thy cheek is as a poppy red!"
XXXVI
"Ah! nurse, a favour do for me!"
"Command me, darling, what you choose"
"Do not—you might—suspicious be;
But look you—ah! do not refuse."
"I call to witness God on high—"
"Then send your grandson quietly
To take this letter to O— Well!
Unto our neighbour. Mind you tell—
Command him not to say a word—
I mean my name not to repeat."
"To whom is it to go, my sweet?
Of late I have been quite absurd,—
So many neighbours here exist—
Am I to go through the whole list?"
XXXVII
"How dull you are this morning, nurse!"
"My darling, growing old am I!
In age the memory gets worse,
But I was sharp in times gone by.
In times gone by thy bare command—"
"Oh! nurse, nurse, you don't understand!
What is thy cleverness to me?
The letter is the thing, you see,—
Oneguine's letter!"—"Ah! the thing!
Now don't be cross with me, my soul,
You know that I am now a fool—
But why are your cheeks whitening?"
"Nothing, good nurse, there's nothing wrong,
But send your grandson before long."
XXXVIII
No answer all that day was borne.
Another passed; 'twas just the same.
Pale as a ghost and dressed since morn
Tattiana waits. No answer came!
Olga's admirer came that day:
"Tell me, why doth your comrade stay?"
The hostess doth interrogate:
"He hath neglected us of late."—
Tattiana blushed, her heart beat quick—
"He promised here this day to ride,"
Lenski unto the dame replied,
"The post hath kept him, it is like."
Shamefaced, Tattiana downward looked
As if he cruelly had joked!
XXXIX
'Twas dusk! Upon the table bright
Shrill sang the samovar at eve,(44)
The china teapot too ye might
In clouds of steam above perceive.
Into the cups already sped
By Olga's hand distributed
The fragrant tea in darkling stream,
And a boy handed round the cream.
Tania doth by the casement linger
And breathes upon the chilly glass,
Dreaming of what not, pretty lass,
And traces with a slender finger
Upon its damp opacity,
The mystic monogram, O. E.
[Note 44: The samovar, i.e. "self-boiler," is merely an urn for hot water having a fire in the center. We may observe a similar contrivance in our own old-fashioned tea-urns which are provided with a receptacle for a red-hot iron cylinder in center. The tea-pot is usually placed on the top of the samovar.]
XL
In the meantime her spirit sinks,
Her weary eyes are filled with tears—
A horse's hoofs she hears—She shrinks!
Nearer they come—Eugene appears!
Ah! than a spectre from the dead
More swift the room Tattiana fled,
From hall to yard and garden flies,
Not daring to cast back her eyes.
She fears and like an arrow rushes
Through park and meadow, wood and brake,