His dark hair was getting long. It had been a few months since he’d cut it. The natural curl that showed up when he let it get too long was sexy. He hated it but I loved it. His long dark eyelashes curled up against his cheeks. I smiled to myself thinking about the first day I laid eyes on him. I’d thought he was gorgeous. I’d also thought he was a loser. How wrong I’d been.
Cage York had proved to be everything I wanted in life. I just hoped letting him go was the right thing to do. I was positive it was but there was that small fear that I could lose him. He was perfect. Women flocked to him. I wouldn’t be there on his arm. They’d come after him. I knew he loved me and I knew he’d never hurt me but still I worried. What if he accidentally met someone else and fell in love? What if missing me became too much?
No. I couldn’t think like that. I couldn’t. I had to trust us. Trust him. My focus had to be on Daddy. I wanted to make as many memories with my daddy as I could.
“Mine,” Cage mumbled in his sleep pulling me closer to him. Even in his sleep he knew what I needed. I kissed his chin and smiled. “Yes, I’m yours.”
CAGE
Eva walked out to my car with me. I couldn’t believe I was doing this. Leaving her. Fuck this felt wrong. But she’d woken me up and made love to me one more time this morning promising me that we’d be okay. That this was what she wanted what we needed.
I’d packed up the few things I had here and I was going to go back to the apartment and get my other things before I headed north. How was I gonna sleep tonight without her?
“Don’t make me do this,” I begged when we got to the car.
“We have to. Remember, this is for us,” she said squeezing my hand.
“Call Low if you need something. She’ll be here. She promised me she’d be by to check on you often. Marcus too. He said anything you need to call them.” I had called Low this morning while Eva took her shower. She’d talked me off a ledge because I was really close to breaking down. Low had heard the anxiety in my voice and walked me through why this was what we had to do. She’d agreed with Eva.
“I know. I’ll call them. I promise,” she assured me. I knew she had Jeremy but I needed to know she had Low too. I trusted Marcus and Low to protect her. To take care of her if she needed something. Jeremy I wasn’t so sure about. He’d wanted to ditch her before.
“You call me too. I’ll be back. I’ll jump on a plane. I swear I will. It’s a forty minute flight.”
“I know,” she said, hugging me to her. “I love you so much. Please drive careful. Call me when you get there. I will want to hear all about it. Everything.”
We were gonna do all this together. The idea of doing it without her was fucking with my head. “I’ll call you so damn much you’re gonna think you were there.”
She laughed and looked up at me. “Good.”
I gazed down into her blue eyes and drank her in. Those pretty blue eyes had sunk me the first time I looked into them. We’d made it through so much already. We were stronger than we had been ten months ago. Our relationship was secure. We were secure in each other. My fears were pointless. We would be okay.
“I could leave tomorrow,” I said hoping she’d give me one more night in her arms.
“We’d only think about your leaving all day today. It would make things even harder. You have to get in that car and drive.”
I cupped her face in both my hands then bent down to kiss her sweet mouth one more time. She grabbed my arms and held on tight while our tongues tangled desperately. Pulling back I pressed a kiss to each of her cheek bones then her nose. “I’ll be back a week from Saturday.” Because I couldn’t stay gone longer than two weeks.
“You can’t come back that soon. You need more time to get things settled there.”
“Don’t push it beautiful. You want me to go, I’m going. But I’ll be damned if I stay away longer than necessary.”
She laughed and nodded. “Okay. I’ll see you in thirteen days then.”
That helped some. Thirteen days. I could do thirteen days.
“Go, Cage,” Eva said backing away and pushing me gently toward the card door. I took a deep breath and got into the car before I could grab her again.
“I love you! Be careful!” she called out as I started to close the door.
“I love you more. And you be careful,” I replied.
She backed away and I closed the door. This was it. I was leaving her.
She waved and smiled at me. Damn I didn’t want to go.
I forced the car into reverse and blew her one last kiss before I drove away from that white farmhouse that held my world.
Chapter Seven
EVA
I had made it an entire week without Cage. Putting all my attention on my daddy had helped me not think about it too much. I convinced Daddy to go with me to see the new Superman movie that was playing. Then we’d drove up to his hunting camp for two nights and rode four-wheelers and gone fishing together.
Jeremy had been working long hours everyday and I was trying to step in and help. Give Daddy less to do and also I was able to keep an eye on him without him thinking that I’m hovering. Jeremy waited until Daddy went to bed each night and then we’d walk outside and sit on the swing and talk. It helped more than I think he realized. I needed to talk about it and although Cage called everyday I didn’t want to make our talks all about me and my issues. I wanted him to tell me all about his new apartment and his coach. He was spending time with his new teammates and he really seemed to like the school. I was happy for him and for those hours that we spent talking each night I was able to escape.
He always asked me about Daddy and things here but I was vague. I left those talks to Jeremy. He was here living it with me. He knew what was going on and I didn’t mind telling him my worries. Cage would hate that if he knew but I wanted him to enjoy his summer at Tennessee. I didn’t want to ruin this for him.
Tonight Jeremy wasn’t going to be around to talk to though. He’d said during dinner that he was going home to change then head out to Becca Lynn’s lake. Apparently she was having a party down there. I hadn’t been to one of those since last summer. I also hadn’t seen much of Becca Lynn since last summer. She hadn’t come around much. Jeremy said that he’d told Becca about my dad and he didn’t think she knew what to say to me. I wasn’t real surprised.
I put the last dish from dinner in the dishwasher and dried my hands off. I’d go down to the swing by myself tonight. It would give me time to cry. Daddy had thrown up again today. I’d seen him bent over down by the lake. Jeremy had seen him too and told me not to go. Daddy didn’t want me to see him like that. So, I’d stayed there helpless. I had wanted to cry but I hadn’t. Now I could.
The night breeze lifted my hair as I stepped out onto the porch. I loved the smell of the summertime on the farm. Except maybe with the breeze came from the North. Because then the smell of cow manure took over. Tonight the breeze was a south wind and I could almost smell the ocean.
Walking down to the swing my heart ached when I looked over at the barn. It reminded me of Cage. I missed him terribly. He would call tonight. He always did. We would talk for a couple of hours. Most of the time until I fell asleep on him.
The moonlight was bright tonight so sitting out here alone on the swing wasn’t that bad. The tears I’d fought all day didn’t come once I got out there alone and settled.
“Got room for one more?” I jumped startled by Jeremy’s voice. I hadn’t heard him walk up.
“Jeremy? What are you doing here?” I asked scooting over so he could sit down.
“I was headed to the lake but I couldn’t do it. I kept picturing you sitting out here on this swing alone and well my truck turned around all on its own and here I am.”
He was doing it again. He was giving up his life to hold my hand. It’s what he did when Josh died. He was starting early this time. “Go to that party. Go find a girl and skinny-dip. Don’t sit here with me. I’m fine.”