“Colonel,” he said.

“Admiral,” she acknowledged him.

“I wanted a moment with Commander Vaughn before he left,” Akaar said. Kira motioned toward Vaughn, an invitation to the admiral to proceed. “I wish to bid you a safe and prosperous journey, Commander,” he said.

“Thank you, Admiral,” Vaughn said, and he raised his right fist to the left side of his chest, making the same gesture to Akaar that the admiral had made to Kira when she had first met him. Akaar returned the gesture. “I was just on my way to Defiantright now.” Vaughn looked to Kira. “Permission to disembark, Colonel,” he said in a rather official manner, but Kira thought she saw a gleam in his eyes.

“Permission granted,” she said.

“Colonel,” the admiral said simply.

“Admiral.”

The two men turned and left her office. When the doors had closed, she walked out from behind her desk and over to the right, where she peered through a window into ops. She watched Vaughn and Akaar enter the turbolift and then descend out of sight. She continued to stand there for a moment, hoping that Vaughn would find the substance of his boyhood dreams where he was going. She also thought that he would be missed on the station while Defiantwas away. And more than that, she realized that she considered him a friend, and that she would miss him too.

16

Shar hoped the first day in the Gamma Quadrant would be an easy one. He had not slept at all during the night, unable to prevent his thoughts from traveling again and again to Thriss—and to Anichent and Dizhei, too, and even to Zhavey,but mostly to Thriss. He felt so physically and emotionally exhausted that he had even considered asking Commander Vaughn to replace him on duty today, but he thought that the commander would have been displeased that one of his crew had not heeded his instructions to get enough rest prior to their mission.

Shar specified Defiant’s dock as his destination, and felt the lift begin its journey. He set down his duffel, but resisted the temptation to put a hand or a shoulder against the wall for support. He rubbed his face with his hands and tried to shake off his fatigue. Perhaps he would be able to sleep for a little while aboard the ship. It was still early, and Defiantwould not depart the station for almost ninety minutes; he typically only slept three or four hours a night, anyway, so an hour’s rest now would be helpful. He had decided to embark now partly because he had been unable to sleep anyway, but also because he had wanted to avoid the possibility of another confrontation with Zhaveyand his bondmates. He had checked his companel this morning before leaving his quarters—he had enabled a security protocol to prevent anybody but station personnel from contacting him over the comm system—and he had seen that Zhaveyand Anichent had left several messages for him through the night. They might even have come to his quarters, for all he knew, but he had placed a security lockout on his door as well.

The lift slowed to a stop, and Shar reached down and retrieved his duffel. He exited the turbolift and approached the airlock that led to Defiant.Lieutenant Costello stood guard this morning, he saw. “Good morning, Lieutenant.”

“Good morning,” Costello said.

Shar walked up to the security scanner and operated its controls, activating it. “Please identify for access toU.S.S. Defiant,” a computer voice instructed him. Shar placed his hand in the center of the scanner, which lighted up at his touch.

“Ensign Thirishar ch’Thane,” he said. “Science officer.”

“Identity confirmed,”the computer said.

Costello turned at her post and worked a control panel beside the airlock entrance. The hatch spun open and retracted into the bulkhead. Shar started to climb the steps.

“Thirishar.”

He stopped and turned toward the turbolift. Thriss stood there, her lovely face slightly swollen, her eyes bloodshot. She must have been crying this morning, he thought, and then realized that she had probably been crying most of the night. Of all of them, Thriss had always been the most emotional; that had bothered him at first, but over time he had come to appreciate her passions as an integral part of her great beauty. To see her like this…it broke his heart.

Shar stepped back onto the deck, and Thriss raced over and threw her arms around him. Embarrassed, he told Costello, “I’ll…I’ll be just a moment.” He dropped his duffel on the deck and led Thriss down the corridor a dozen paces. He heard the airlock door close behind them.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, facing her and putting his hands on her hips, and then he realized the absurdity of the question. “I mean…” He let his voice trail off; he did not know what he meant.

“Thirishar, please,” Thriss said, staring into his eyes and clutching at his arms, her sadness palpable. Tears pooled in her eyes and slipped down her cheeks, leaving silvery trails along her beautiful blue skin. Shar reached up and wiped them away, then put the palm of his hand gently against her face.

“Oh, Thriss,” he said, and there was no denying how much he loved her. If this had been only about his feelings for her, the decisions he had been forced to make would have been different, and they would have been easier, for all of them.

“Don’t go,” she pleaded. “We love you. Ilove you. I need you.” He could not bear her sorrow, and to know that he had been the cause of it…

“Thriss,” he said, pleading himself. He took his hand from her face. “What am I supposed to do?”

“Come back to Andor with us,” she said, but the inflection in her voice told him that she knew he would not go back to Andor. And that—her terrible, desperate sense of resignation—pierced him to the core, and he knew that he could not continue to disappoint her.

“I will,” he said, and her eyes opened as wide and bright as full moons. For a moment, his heart felt full, and nobody in the universe existed but the two of them.

“You will?” she asked hesitantly, as though even her question might make him rescind his words.

“I will,” he repeated. “I’ll visit Andor as soon as I return.” Thriss’s face darkened, like somebody turning off a light.

“No,” she said. “Please. Now.”

“Thriss,” he told her, “this is what I can do right now. But it’s a promise. I will go to Andor.” He searched for something more to say to her, something that would convince her of the truth of what he was saying. He reached up and tapped his combadge. “Ch’Thane to Lieutenant Ro,” he said. He kept his eyes on Thriss.

There was a delay, and then he heard Ro’s sleepy voice. “This is Ro,”she said.

“Lieutenant, I’m sorry to wake you,” he said, “but I need to ask you for a favor.”

“What is it, Shar?”she asked, and he was surprised to hear the level of concern in her voice. “What do you need?”

“My, uh, my bondmates are here on the station,” he said, “and they’re going to be here until I return from the Gamma Quadrant.” The darkness had left Thriss’s face, he saw, but now he could not tell what she was feeling. Had his promise made her happy—or at least happi er—or did she think that he would not live up to his word? “Uh, at least, one of them will be staying,” he told Ro. “Perhaps all three. I’d like for them to be able to stay together in my quarters. Will you arrange that? I know it’s an unusual request.”

Ro did not respond immediately, and Shar feared that he might have irritated her by waking her for something that probably seemed trivial. But then she said, “I’d be happy to give them access to your quarters, Shar. Where are they now?”