In the moments of orgasm, I owned him as completely as he owned me.

16

Gideon folded over me, his hair falling forward to tickle my chest, his lungs heaving. “God. I can’t go days without this. Even the hours at work are too long.”

I ran my fingers through the sweat-damp roots of his hair. “I missed you, too.”

He nuzzled my breasts. “When you’re not with me, I feel-Don’t run anymore, Eva. I can’t take it.”

He pulled me up to stand in front of him, keeping his cock in me until the soles of my heels touched the hardwood floor. “Come home with me now.”

“I can’t leave Cary.”

“Then we’ll drag him out of here with us. Shh…Before you complain, whatever he hopes to get out of this party, I can make happen. Being here accomplishes nothing.”

“Maybe he’s having fun.”

“I don’t want you here.” He suddenly seemed distant, his tone far too controlled.

“Do you know how badly it hurts me when you say that?” I cried softly, my chest tight with the pain of it. “What’s wrong with me that you don’t want me around your family?”

“Angel, no.” He hugged me, his hands roaming my back in soothing caresses. “There’s nothing wrong with you. It’s this place. I don’t-I can’tbe here. You want to know what’s in my dreams? It’s this house.”

“Oh.” My stomach knotted with worry and confusion. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

Something in my voice lured him to press a kiss between my eyebrows. “I’ve been rough with you today. I’m sorry. I’m edgy and agitated being here, but that’s no excuse.”

I cupped his face and stared into his eyes, seeing the tumultuous emotions he was so used to hiding. “Don’t ever apologize for being yourself with me. It’s what I want. I want to be your safe place, Gideon.”

“You are. You don’t know how much, but I’ll find a way to tell you.” He rested his forehead against mine. “Let’s go home. I bought some things for you.”

“Oh? I love gifts.” Especially when they came from my self-professed unromantic boyfriend.

Cautiously, he began to pull out of me. I was shocked to feel how wet I was, how copiously he’d come. The final few inches of his cock slid out in a rush and semen slicked my inner thighs. A moment later, two audacious droplets fell to the hardwood floor between my spread legs.

“Oh, shit.” He groaned. “That’s so damn hot. I’m getting hard again.”

I stared at the brazen display of his virility and felt warm. “You can’t go again after that.”

“Hell if I can’t.” Cupping my sex in his hand, he rubbed the slickness all over me, coating the outer lips and massaging it into the folds. Euphoria spread through me like the warmth of fine liquor, a sense of contentment that came solely from the knowledge that Gideon found gratification in me and my body.

“I’m an animal with you,” he murmured. “I want to mark you. I want to possess you so completely there’s no separation between us.”

My hips began to move in tiny circles as his words and touch reignited the desire he’d goaded with the thrusts of his cock. I wanted to come again, knew I’d be miserable if I had to wait until we reached his bed. I was a sexual creature with him, too, so physically attuned to him and so positive that he would never physically hurt me, that I was…free.

I encircled his wrist with my fingers and gently directed his hand around my hip to reach for me from behind. Nipping his jaw with my teeth, I gathered the courage he inspired in me and whispered, “Touch me here with your fingers. Mark me there.”

He froze, his chest lifting and falling rapidly. “I don’t”-his voice strengthened-“I don’t do anal play, Eva.”

Looking into his eyes, I saw something dark and volatile. Something very painful.

Of all the things for us to have in common…

The raw passion of our lust gentled into the warm familiarity of love. With my heart breaking, I confessed, “I don’t either. At least not voluntarily.”

“Then…why?” The confusion in his voice moved me deeply.

I hugged him, pressing my cheek to his shoulder and listening to the slightly panicked beat of his heart. “Because I believe your touch can erase Nathan’s.”

“Oh, Eva.” His cheek pressed to the crown of my head.

I snuggled closer. “You make me feel safe.”

We held each other for long moments. I listened to his heartbeat slow and his breathing smooth out. I inhaled deeply, relishing the mix of his personal scent mixed with the scent of hard lust and harder sex.

When the tip of his middle finger slid gossamer-soft over the pucker of my anus, I stilled and pulled back to look at him. “Gideon?”

“Why me?” he asked softly, his beautiful eyes dark and stormy. “You know I’m fucked up, Eva. You saw what I…that night you woke me…You saw,damn it. How can you trust me with your body this way?”

“I trust my heart and what it tells me.” I smoothed the frown line between his brows. “You can give my body back to me, Gideon. I believe you’re the only one who can.”

His eyes closed and his damp forehead touched mine. “Do you have a safeword, Eva?”

Startled, I pulled back again to study his face. A few members of my therapy group had talked about Dom/sub relationships. Some required total control to feel safe during sex. Others fell on the opposite side of the line, finding that bondage and humiliation satisfied their deep-seated need to feel pain to experience pleasure. For those who practiced that lifestyle, a safeword was an unambiguous way to say “stop.” But I couldn’t see how that had any relevance to me and Gideon. “Do you?”

“I don’t need one.” Between my legs, the gentle stroke of his finger became less tentative. He repeated his question, “Do you have a safeword?”

“No. I’ve never needed one. Missionary, doggy style, B.O.B… that’s about the extent of my mad skills in the sack.”

That brought a touch of amusement to his otherwise severe face. “Thank God. I wouldn’t survive you otherwise.”

And still that fingertip massaged me, spurring a dark yearning. Gideon could do that to me, make me forget everything that happened before. I had no negative sexual triggers with him, no hesitation or fears. He’d given that to me. In return, I wanted to give him the body he’d freed from my past.

The long case clock near the door began to chime the hour.

“Gideon, we’ve been gone a long time. Someone will come looking for us.”

He put the slightest pressure against my sensitive rosette, barely pressing. “Do you really care if they do?”

My hips arched into the touch. Anticipation was making me hot all over again. “I don’t care about anything but you when you’re touching me.”

His free hand lifted to my hair and held it at the roots, keeping my head still. “Did you ever enjoy anal play? Accidentally or by deliberation?”

“No.”

“And yet you trust me enough to ask me for this.” He kissed my forehead as he drew the slickness of his semen back to my rear.

I gripped his waistband. “You don’t have to-”

“Yes, I do.” His voice had that wickedly assertive bite to it. “If you crave something, I’ll be the one to give it to you. All of your needs, Eva, are mine to fulfill. Whatever it costs me.”

“Thank you, Gideon.” My hips shifted restlessly as he continued to lubricate me gently. “I want to be what you need, too.”

“I’ve told you what I need, Eva-control.” He brushed his parted lips back and forth over mine. “You’re asking me to lead you back into painful places and I will, if that’s what you need. But we have to be extremely careful.”

“I know.”

“Trust is hard for both of us. If we break it, we could lose everything. Think of a word you associate with power. Yoursafeword, angel. Choose it.”

The pressure of that single fingertip became more insistent. I moaned, “Crossfire.”