“I dunno.” Lex crossed her arms and curled up in the sofa. “I hate being forced to do this.”
Trish paused mid-bite. “Are you not ready yet?”
“Of course I’m ready. I just don’t like being prodded like a cow. If I’m going to do this, I’m going to do it my way.”
“What’s the difference? Grandma still gets what she wants.”
“I have control of my life, not her. I’m not going to date every Tomeo, Daiki, and Haruto like Mariko did. I’m ready to date, but I’m not stupid. If I’m going to be out with a guy, he has to pass certain criteria.”
“Criteria? What are you going to do, ask to look at his teeth like a racehorse? Or under his hood like a car? ‘Flip up your shirt, please.
No back hair? Okay, you’ve passed inspection.’ ”
“Baka.” Lex swung a pillow at Trish. “No, I’ve been studying Ephesians in my women’s Bible study. It’s got all the traits of a godly man. I’ve been making a list.”
Trish chortled. “A list? An Ephesians List? I’ll bet it’s a mile long.”
“No, it’s only six points.”
“Just six? Let me guess. Heartbeat? Check. Can read? Check.
Worships the ground I walk on – ”
“Shut up. It’s a good list.” She ticked them off on her fingers.
“One, he has to play volleyball very, very well.” “Oh, that just widens the field. That’s in Ephesians?”
“Well, I have to ‘submit’ to him – you know, ‘wives, submit to your husbands’ – and I’m not submitting to anybody who can’t beat me in volleyball. Two, he has to be physically attractive. It’s the whole ‘oneness’ thing. I have to actually want to ‘be one’ with him.”
Trish snorted with laughter.
“That’s gross! You’re getting ice cream everywhere.”
“Sorry.” Trish covered her mouth.
“Three, he’s got to be Christian.”
“That’s third? Not high on your priorities, hmm?” Trish poked her in the ribs.
“Er… it’s in no specific order. Four, he has to have a good, stable job.”
“Where did Paul say he has to be rich?”
“Not rich. But Ephesians tells men to love their wives just as they feed and care for their bodies. So that means my boyfriend – or future spouse – needs to have enough money to feed and care for me, right? Five, he’ll be faithful. No sexual immorality, impurity, all that stuff.”
“That’s in Ephesians too? I have to read my Bible more.”
“Six, he won’t lie to me. ‘Put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor.’ ”
“How are you going to know if he’s lying?”
“Um…” Lex dropped her legs from the coffee table. “Well, hopefully he won’t. He shouldn’t manipulate me or deceive me in any way.
So, what do you think?”
Trish shrugged. “I guess that’s doable.”
“I just want to be careful, you know?”
“Yeah, I know.” Trish set down her empty carton. “So what’s up with buying a condo?”
“Think about it. A house declares independence. What’s more, to the family, it’s not a form of independence that’s outright defying Grandma. It’s an acceptable form of independence because it’s considered an investment.”
“Oh, I get it.”
“I need to make a statement. Even if I show up at Mariko’s wedding with a boyfriend, I want to show Grandma that I’m not completely under her thumb.”
“Grandma’s not a monster.”
“Easy for you to say, she hasn’t threatened anything important to you.”
“She was actually pretty nice to me the other night.”
“Huh? Why?”
“I introduced her to my new boyfriend.”
“So who’s the flavor of the week?”
“Shut up.” Trish stuck out her tongue, then launched into her giggly mood when talking about a new guy. “I met him when I went out to lunch last week at Sako Sushi. He’s a waiter. He gave me fresh chopsticks.” Trish dimpled. “And he spoke Japanese to Grandma.”
“Score!” She gave Trish a high-five. “No wonder Grandma liked him.”
“I’m telling you, being on Grandma’s good side is better than where you are now. Find a boyfriend.”
“Well, I’ll start at work tomorrow. Maybe my coworkers have some leads.”
Lex entered her tech manufacturing company in the morning to the melodious sounds of the Gorgon and the intern screaming at each other.
“If you make the mess, you clean it up!” The administrative assistant’s bellow resonated from the entrance foyer down the hallways to the managers’ offices.
“I had a family function to go to!” Cari, the newly hired intern, had plenty of the head-wagging thing going on.
Lex’s entrance through the glass doors didn’t even pause the argument.
The middle-aged woman gave the hip intern a look that lowered the air-conditioned area to below freezing. “You spilled the entire bottle of soda. At least you could have gotten paper towels!”
“Somebody pushed me! It wasn’t my fault!”
“It doesn’t matter! Grow up and take responsibility or don’t come to the afternoon office parties.”
Cari’s blue and purple glitter eye makeup glinted in the fluorescent overhead lights. “Even you can’t keep me from going to the office parties, you old hag.”
Good going, girlfriend, insult the Gorgon. Make her difficult to work with all day for everybody else.
Lex kept to the periphery of the foyer and managed to nip back to her cubicle. She guessed she wouldn’t be asking Cari about her favorite singles’ hangouts this morning. Maybe this afternoon. She wouldn’t be able to hold a civil convo with the admin all day – she’d have to ask someone else about real estate agent recommendations.
She passed two of her coworkers – privately she called them the Gossip Twins, GT1 and GT2 – huddled as usual in a cubicle furthest from the managers’ offices.
“Did you hear that she got called in yesterday?” GT1 always thought her voice didn’t carry, but Lex could hear her two cubicles away.
“I heard she got reprimanded for rubber-stamping the documentation.” Smug and superior, GT2’s softer-pitched voice still rang audibly.
“Was she too lazy to check it?”
“She got distracted when her boyfriend called.”
Both Gossip Twins were young and sociable. For a flickering moment, Lex considered asking them about a good place to meet guys, but… She walked past their giggling session.
Lex arrived at her cubicle and found a large note scrawled on her yellow sticky pad: See me. – Everett.
What now? Lex had finished her CAD work yesterday – ahead of schedule, thank you very much – so what could Everett complain about now?
“What do you need a new chair for?” Everett dispensed with any greeting as soon as Lex appeared at his office door.
“My back is giving me problems, so I need an ergonomic one.”
Like, duh.
“Your chair is fine. It’s not broken, is it?” His bald pate had begun to glisten and blush. Great. Temper tantrum ahead.
“Well, the back adjustment screw is stripped – ”
“Then get maintenance to fix it. You don’t need a whole new chair.” Everett tossed the purchase order onto his haphazard desk, where it disappeared in the sea of other white papers.
“Mark looked at it, and he says – ”
“Who the heck is Mark?” Everett’s violent head-rearing dislodged a few combed-over wisps.
“Mark is our head of maintenance.”
“Oh.” Everett harrumphed. “So, what’d he say?”
“He said to get a new chair.”
“Why can’t he drive down to Office Depot and pick up a chair?”
“We went last week, but none of them fit. My desk is too high and my legs are too short.”
“So you need this $250 chair?”
“It was the cheapest ergonomic we could find.”
“You don’t need a special erko – ergic – nomic chair.”
“My old chair is causing my lower back to hurt.”
“Nonsense! It’s all that volleyball you do.”
That did it. An ume-red haze dropped over Lex’s eyes. “I played for years before coming to work for this company and never had back problems until I got that computer chair at my desk.”
“Delayed reaction injury. The answer’s no.” Everett somehow found the purchase order from his desk – or maybe he didn’t, but he thought he picked up the right paper – and crumpled it up.